Yes let's concern ourselves with BMs marriage
BM herself stays out of our life, she just crawls out from her rock periodically to demand money, but other than that it's not much of a problem. As always the issue is my meddlesomeSIL!
She called DH while driving on the way to get SD15 for the weekend. This was the first DH heard about it. MeddlesomeSIL asked if he had seen SD15s Instagram and said that it seems BM and Stepdad are fighting a lot. SD did post a sneaky video of them arguing at a restaurant but that's typical teen behavior trying to embarrass her mom, the vast majority of her posts are smug duck lipped bathroom selfies. Pretty much everything she does is a ploy for attention and MeddlesomeSIL took the bait.
The argument post made MeddlesomeSIL soooo worried so she decided to get SD15 for the weekend so BM and Stepdad could have time to themselves. DH asked why she didn't do that so he and I could have a date but she does it for the other SIL and now for BM. She had plenty of excuses which DH kept calling her out on until she said she just didn't want SD to go through *another* divorce.
When she picks up SD15 she asks where BM is going and SD15 just complains that they're going on a weekend away without her and how they drop her off with BMs parents or sister all the time. She said "My mom is away every weekend" so I hope MeddlesomeSIL felt like a fool. MeddlesomeSIL then starts gushing how SD is so beautiful and looks just like her mom. And SD says "bleh I look like a 40 year old woman" haha! But as I said earlier this is typical teenage stuff. She says that was so mean to say about her mom. How nice for her to be concerned with SDs relationship with BM while being a party to alienating her from DH! Ugh the balls on this woman. DH had enough of it too since he was basically a 3rd party listening to them talk about BM.
After DH hangs up he's obviously upset and complains that his family will all look after SD or his other sister's kids but they always have an excuse not to watch ours. BM has plenty of people and regulaly leaves her kids with them to do her own thing. His other sister has her in laws and parents there to watch the kids every week. He is particularly upset that his father spends tons of time with his sisters kids but not ours. We don't have a village mostly because we set boundaries with these people.
I said if his family gets you so worked up why do you answer them? And would you actually want them watching our kids? He said no but the unfairness gets to him. He doesnt want MeddlesomeSIL having SD without him knowing but they closed him out of that and SD is old enough to make her own choice. But maybe BM and his other SIL have problems in their marriages because their siblings and parents are so involved. Ding ding ding!