Trying to stay calm
My husband and I and our kids' mom have a pretty friendly co-parenting relationship at this point. It used to be very hostile between them and we used to not share any sort of information at all. Now with the relationship being a lot nicer, their mom is more open about sharing what is going on in her life and problems while I do not like sharing any sort of personal problems. I don't mind talking about some aspects of my life (works, school, kids).
I have been struggling to get pregnant. We have been on fertility treatment for over a year and are about to start the process for IVF. I did miscarrage last year and still processing the grief at times. There are a very few people who know about the miscarrage, us being on fertility treatment, and starting IVF. Family members and maybe 2 friends on each of our side probably know. I don't mind our family and friends know about IVF and I don't mind talking to them about it. But it very rarely gets brought up and I am never the one to bring up the topic.
A couple days ago, I got a call from our kids mom regarding our daughter getting earrings. She wanted to share the news and pictures and we were all super excited. Somehow the topic shifted and she mentioned my miscarrage and fertility treatment. It caught me off guard because it still hurts to talk about my miscarrage and I was confused about how she knew we were on fertility treament and IVF. She was not being mean and she did not bring it up to be spiteful, she was in her way trying to be encouraging and told me how heartbroken she was when I miscarried. I carried on the conversation as best as I could without crying while she told me her story about trying to get pregnant her and her current husband's little girl (my kids youngest sibling with their step dad).
During the phone conversation, my husband was at his computer desk next to me and I could visibly see him tensing up. After I got off the phone, I asked him if he told her about IVF and the fertility treatment. He at first denied it and said I told them about it. I tried to stay calm and explain I did not because I don't talk about it nor do i ever bring it up in a conversation especially with his ex-wife and her husband. My husband thought about it and I guess realized he let the cat out of the bag sometime ago. He said he thought I had already mentioned it to them and that they ket asking how I was doing and if we planned on having kids and all that so he mentioned it briefly. Honestly it was an accident. He really truely thought I told them and didn't see the big deal in them knowing since our family and a few friends know as well. I told him I don't see them as friends and I'm not comfortable with it and to respect my privacy. He apologized but the information is already out there. I'm trying to stop being upset about it since we talked about it and he apologized, but it's hard trying to stay calm.