You are here

SS11/DH vent seshhh...

LBS714's picture

SS11 used to express how much he hated going to his bio mom and stepdads house, now he "loves" it. I can tell it grinds my DH's gears, but he just lets it be. I absolutely support this, keeps him out of my hair for longer. 

Side note: DH has raised SS11 since birth and there was a time when SS11's bio mom wasn't seen or heard from for about a year before she started coming back around and that's why DH just doesn't understand why SS11 wants to be with them so much. But they have side-by-sides they let him drive (we do not, we have 4wheelers that SS11 has open access to but he chooses not to ride them). I also firmly believe that a boy needs his mom, just like a young girl needs a good father. I'm happy for SS11 that his mom spends more time with him now, and hoping it will make a change in him for the better. 

SS11 has also said how he wants to join the baseball team in another town (where his bio mom coaches and his younger half-sister plays t-ball), but DH said 'absolutely not'. His reasoning is because it has to be feasible for all of our schedules, and my DH is sort of selfish (not gonna lie). If he does not feel like toting kids back and forth to games and practices, (which I have never seen him do), it will not happen. ALSO, DH has had SS11 on t-ball teams before, (before I was in the picture) when he was younger, and DH has said he has gotten into many conflicts at the ball park with the bio moms extended family. So maybe that is the real reason. SS11 TOLD, yes you read that right, TOLD my DH that he's joining Fall Ball. DH said "oh yeah? Who said that?" SS11 responds with "I did.".. WRONGO!!! DH says "don't act like that, you don't make decisions in this house." It was truly comical, I had to hold back my chuckles. 

I have always bent over backwards for my girls to do whatever extracurricular they want to do. Sacrificed my evenings for gymnastics 2-3 times a week, no question if it makes them happy. But, I reckon some dads are different in that sense. 

Also, in a previous post, I mentioned how SS11 brought home a laptop from his nana's which I think he is WAYYYY too young for especially after the bs he was caught doing. So, the 'petty betty' in me, turned off the wifi to the laptop LMAO!! Keep that crap at your Nana's IMO. I also have the parental controls on to his wifi so he can't watch the YouTube videos he's been trying to watch LOL. He says "this house is a domain for NO, and at Nana's everything works fine"... HAHA I just sit there and chuckle saying "the Wifi just sucks over here IDK hehehehehe. 

Countdown, 10 days and a wake up until the brat goes back to his bio mom for 2 days. 


Rags's picture

Kids should know the facts.  The thing is that a fully engaged, dependable, always there and participating parent is not the unicorn that a crappy parent who abandons a kid is.  A kid will chase after a crappy abandoning parent with all of the energy and angst that they posses all while disrespectfully bashing the quality parent that has always been there.  This is exactly why, IMHO, your DH needs to remind his son as regularly as necessary that he has never abandoned the kid and BM has.  DH needs to give his son clarith that his BM cannot be trusted and that the boy has to always be ready for his mother to disappear.

I applaud your DH for putting the 11yo in his place and making it clear that the kid decides absolutely nothing about what goes on during Dad's time.  Absolutely nothing. BM can sign him up for whatever she wants, but that cannot and should not ever impact what goes on during Dad's time.

I also applaud you for managing internet access for an 11yo in your home.  Gramma can do what she wants in her home, but that crap ends when SS steps out of Gramma's house to return to yours.

It sounds to me as if you and DH have your proverbial blended family parental shit together.

Great job.