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And I thought we were making progress...

LBS714's picture

It's been a while since I posted, a little over a year. Let me catch you up on my SS11 that I cannot stand to even be around. We have caught him in multiple lies, hard to believe what's a lie and what's the truth anymore (if he told me it was raining outside, I would check just to make sure). He has gotten a couple different game systems, and unlimited access to the internet, (until recently when he burned up the game system) we have caught him talking to strangers, giving out his phone number to strangers, not even knowing their names, saving them in his phone as their screenname and lying saying they're 'classmates'. I was leaving my bio 11yo daughter home when she's out of school, and going to work, but that had to come to a screeching halt since my SS11 can't keep his damn hands to himself, wants to aggravate and pick and fight, won't abide by my 'no hands' rule.. The final time I left them at home together, it was during quarantine while the kids were doing school from home, and he blasted the living room TV, while my bio daughter was trying to do schoolwork, pushed my bio daughter, and LIED about it to my DH (his bio dad) and DH of course believed him (caught him in that lie, on video, but did that matter? NOPE)

Thankfully, I've got good grandparents, and they love to spend time with my kids but it is a DRIVE for me early in the morning, but I will make this sacrifice for my daughters to be safe. 

My DD11 has begged me for a laptop, I am firm on her being too young. She already has an iPhone, that is enough, especially when she goes to school now. I know what lurks on the internet and she needs to enjoy being a kid, playing outside, and enjoying doing other things. There will be way more time for electronics since the world is turning into a digital one. Anywho, guess what my SS11 comes home with yesterday....a $2000 macbook, from my DH's mother *eyeroll*.. SS11 says "NANA gave it to me as a gaming laptop".. It upset me very much. SS11 has a 'push the envelope, gonna do what I can get away with and lie about it later' personality and porn is so accessible nowadays, and he goes to school as well, so no need for a laptop. But, in true fashion, anything that my DD11 says she wants, he will get it just to rub it in her face. So, DH called his mother and turns out the little s*** lied. It's not his laptop, his nana said it was for gaming for ALL the kids to play on, that I would have been OK with because it's A-for all the kids, not just her grandson, and B-we would tell them to keep it in the living room to be supervised gaming, not to be web surfing at all hours of the night (he is known for waking up at 3am and playing games until just before his dad gets up and acts like he's been asleep all night).. 

Point being, my SS11 is still a lying, conniving, manipulative little boy, but I am coping my being blissfully ignorant. 

CajunMom's picture

Been in the high conflict step world 15 years. That trait was in them when I met them and has stayed with them into adulthood. I'm totally disengaged from SKs here...coming on 3 years I haven't seen or spoke with them. One of the main reasons? Continued lying. All you and your DH can do is to continue counter his lies with truth. Tiring, I know. Good luck!

tog redux's picture

Yep, my SS was a liar at 11 and he's a liar at almost 21. He learned well at his mother's knee. 

LBS714's picture

Sad but true. I hate it. I really want the son I never got. I love my two DD unconditionally and would die for them, but I thought I finally got the son I wanted when I met DH, turns out he is just the demon I have to put up with. My DH is the BEST FATHER to my girls, which is very confusing to me when he has a son that acts like that when his dad is so fun loving, and kid friendly. I tend to detach from SS and just live there without giving him an ounce of my attention. But it is so obvious to DH and he hates it. 

Tried out's picture

I'd leave two 11 year olds home by themselves since they are opposite sex. I know they're probably pre-pubescent but there is just too much stuff out there that they have access to. 

Wicked stepmo.'s picture

I would get DD involved in some type of martial arts so she can learn to defend herself against SS. He is obviously sneaky and going to target her because he thinks she is an easy target and he likes the conflict it causes between you and DH over who did what and to who.

LBS714's picture

The little brat s*** his pants at school yesterday!! *yahoo* I was beyond tickled. It continued well into the night, and he s*** his pants again at home! LMAO! DH has 0 tolerance for that. His bedroom is right next to the bathroom, and DH made him wash out his own underwear!! It surely made me chuckle that DH actually got onto him for something.