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Is it just me or is this weird?

MrsMiserable's picture

So I am all for letting your kids know you love them and are thinking about them. I've put my fair share of little notes in their lunch boxes when my bios were younger with "Have a great day. Love Mom" message. I still put one in BD9's planner every once in a while if she's having a rough morning. But I stopped doing that for BS11 two years ago when he was in 4th grade and about died of embarrassment when one of his friends saw the note and made a big deal out of it. He's in middle school now and I would never even think about putting a love note in his lunch. 

SS11 is also in 6th grade and is already a very awkward kid who gets picked on and bullied all the time at school. But every other Wednesday when he and SS9 come back to our house for the week there is a long sappy love note in his lunch box from BM. (BS9 buys his lunch so if BM is sending him notes they are in his backpack or something and we've never seen them) When I say long I mean a full page of HUGE hand-drawn hearts and smiley faces and a long note that always says something along the lines of "I love you so much SS11. You are my world and I can't wait to hug you tight and hold you in my arms when you get back. Love you to the moon and back. YOUR MOMMY XOXOXO" I honestly could throw up when I happen to see these notes. It's nauseating.  Tell me this is not going to get this kid's ass beat if one of his meaner class meats sees this sh*t?? Is it just me or is almost 12 a little old too old for this?? 

Ispofacto's picture

"You are my world" is a trigger phrase for me.  Satan used to say this about Killjoy, but she lost custody due to neglect.  Since then I have noticed many HCGUBMs use this phrase.  It's very enmeshy.



Jcksjj's picture

Have you ever watched The Goldbergs? It kind of makes me think of the mom in that. It's funny because it's a tv show, but it still is cringy after reading all the stuff on here about emotional incest and seeing a little bit with SD how its played out.

Also, SD used to do this type of thing with DH to try to win back her spot as woman of the house. So congrats to BM on not being able to come up with a better idea than a 7 year old.

somethingwicked's picture

It's not is over the top weird.



Skid  is being groomed to be the mini husband by his mommy's enmeshed ,lover like clutches dug deep into his psyche and down the road rebellious to you and his father as he is made to protect mommy..

What does DH think?

MrsMiserable's picture

Absolutely. We have seen text messages to both boys saying the same gross things. And they have both become rebellious at our house. SS9 is seeing a therapist because he was crying for his mommy for hours every other week when he would first get to our house. Then when she would get on the phone with them at night she would yell at them and accuse them of not loving her because they had fun at our house. I posted about all of this a few months back... it's a huge mess. 

ESMOD's picture

I wonder if these letters get written only on days the kid is going to go to dad's.. so there is a lingering emotional toilet paper trail back to momee.

advice.only2's picture

I mean I would understand if she were seeing her son off to war and the chances of her ever seeing him again were slim to none...but nope not even then, it's just a cringy gross over the top note.

Evil3's picture

"You are my world," and "I can't wait to hold you in my arms," are both nauseating. Both indicate emotional incest. The hearts all over the page are gross too.

Your SS is Mommmeeeee's little husband.

Thisisnotus's picture

so so weird. I also wonder if it was done with ulterior motives.....those phrases are text pook PAS tactics.

That beind sad BM writes notes every single day for SD12 and SD17's lunch box.......they look like somethin you'd give a kindergartener. SD12 saves them all and has probably 60 in the zipper of her lunch box.......kid's got some major mental problems....clearly.

Steppedonnomore's picture

Is it weird?  I don't know - maybe. It would be weird and embarassing for lots of kids but the only one whose opinion really matters is SS.  Is it weird or is it comforting to him?  You stopped when your bio told you it was uncomfortable for him.  If SS is uncomfortable, he can ask his mother to stop sending them and he can throw them away if she doesn't comply with his wishes.  Maybe this "awkward kid who gets picked on and bullied all the time" likes getting the notes.  Maybe his father could chat with him and see.

Iamwoman's picture

Yes it's wierd. A short love message is ok.

A page or more with hearts and co-dependent phrases is super unhealthy.

She is going to turn her son into a psycho with parenting like that.

Harry's picture

Do you think these kids really make it in life.?  Are they not be able to go away to college?  With mommie come before the wife. So there a candidate for there own divorce? 

Rags's picture

BM is setting up SS as her emotionally incestuous SO. If your DH does not intervene with his son and start to filter out BM's sappy  girlfriend influence crap with SS with this kid is doomed.

Puke worthy for sure.


nappisan's picture

weird! the child is getting too old for this and the "mommy" is just playing mind games with this kid.