If we can just get through the next 5 weeks....
Dinner last night with my niece went really well. I made her cry... a lot! She has lost all confidence in herself and was feeling very alone. Her mom (my sister) and I reassured her that she is not. That we are here for her. She was raised by a strong mom, she has a strong Aunt. We both were single moms for a while. We both made it through and look at how awesome are kids are! The judge has already told her that she was able to see her kids and that her ex can't keep them from her. We have a plan, she is following through and not going to allow him to beat her and bully her anymore.
Because I am me... I had a whole power point print out of her to fill in with long and short term goals, career path plans, custody plan, handling conflict with her ex, budgets, living arrangements and her future dreams and personal goals. There were folders... and laminated covers involved...
I asked her about her dreams for her future, she just broke down and it broke my heart. She is a certified dental assistant, which has crap pay, but she was good and loved it. The restaurant she works at now pays substantially more. However, I walked her through the grants and scholarships she can apply for. She wants to be a hygienist, she is smart and can do it if she works hard and has support. We have a step by step plan for her to start school again next year after we get through the short term goals- living on her own, custody and childcare handled, etc. She is so young and has so much potential, I hate that this abusive narcissistic man has ripped her self esteem to shreds.
Her custody hearing is set for the same date as DH's, I feel awful that I can't be there for her. However, she is still trying to request 50/50- week on and week off and no CS. Split holiday's. She wants to reassess when the oldest is ready for school. Basically whoever lives in the best school district, stable, etc.- she thinks should take week days and the other parent take weekends. The kids are both under 3. I can't see a judge denying that. I just can't. However, I could never have imagined the shit show we have dealt with.
In other news- my hysterectomy is scheduled for July 16th. Still waiting on the genetics test to determine if I am keeping my ovaries or not... I am freaking out. My boss is freaking out LOL. I am a wimp when it comes to pain. Even though I have made it through 2 c-sections, I am so scared of this surgery!! I told my mom that I wish they could just do the same cut as the caesarians- I know how to move and heal after those! This is different! She said I was crazy LOL
The other thing I am freaking out about is the last and final custody hearing- July 29th . That means I have to fly 10-11 days after surgery. We are staying at my SIL's house, which at least means that I know I can rest while there. She has a lovely guest room and they are so kind and caring. I know that I will be taken care of there if I need to be.