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I'm feeling resentful today

nengooseus's picture

Normally when I post here, it's with some version of organized thoughts, so please forgive me. The never-ending issues with the infuriating BM are really getting to me at this point, and I'm starting to feel resentful of DH because of it.

I started a new job last week. It's a good thing, I was miserable in my last job, but starting a new one is always challenging. Added to the challenge was the skids, due to BM's chaos and refusal to be a reasonable human being. We were supposed to have the skids for our regular 4 days, but instead, we got them for 8 straight days, with multiple interruptions from her because she can't make a plan, and even if she did, she couldn't follow through.

Honestly, the skids were fine, but just the fact that they're there adds a level of chaos to our world: they live 20 minutes in the opposite direction of us, and God knows the bus isn't coming to get them at our house. And since BM likes to show up at the bus stop, we have to drop at school or run the risk of a(nother) tangle. More than an hour in the car each day to tote them back and forth is a bit much, and that doesn't even include the hour and a half to and from skid therapy every freaking Tuesday.

And to top that off, I spent most of my free time last week and over the weekend responding to BM's interrogatories for the custody case she's filed asking that DH's parenting time be reduced to EOWE. Frankly, I'd love less time with the skids, but he would be miserable, so we have to deal with it, and DH frankly isn't able to manage the paperwork side on his own. And she's a freaking pathological liar, too, which makes me crazy! She works exhaustively to resolve conflict with DH? Yeah. No.

I feel like their drama and chaos is taking over my entire life! I should be able to be excited and interested in my new job and to talk with my partner about it, too, and I shouldn't have to tell my new boss that I can be here on 6/28 because I have to be in court with DH. I should be able to be excited with my bioDD who is finishing 5th grade this week. I should be able to go home and not think or worry about what's going to happen next, or if we need to call our lawyer again.

I know I need the court case to be over, but I don't know if even that will be enough at this point. His children are freaking needy as hell and their BM is the reason! I'm so tried of all their BS.

I'm meeting with my therapist tonight. He's going to tell me that I'm not taking care of myself and I'm allowing boundaries to be crossed. I know that, and I know that I need to set them and stick to them, but it's so hard when DH has none. He's definitely not a Disney Dad, but he gets swallowed up in the non-stop BS, too.


Disneyfan's picture

"....and DH frankly isn't able to manage the paperwork side on his own"

He's a grown man. He should be the one dealing with all of this, not you. Hand his crap over to him. Then you enjoy your new job and your daughter's excitement about starting middle school.

You can support your husband without taking on his responsibilities.

Tuff Noogies's picture

it's ok doll, let it out.

i understand about exhausting ourselves to support and help our husbands, but we do it because we love them. of course you'll have your resentful days! there will always be ups and downs, sometimes the downs last longer then we ever thought possible. you sound like you need a pity party and a little self-pampering to recharge a bit. happens to all of us!

congrats on the new job! it is wonderful but yes, stressful learning new ropes. you've got a lot on your plate, hun. ((((hugs)))) and prayers for endurance.