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VNichol's picture

We had a very good talk about what was written to the ex-SIL. I don't have a problem with DH speaking to the ex-MIL or ex SIL I understand they are SS family and SS needs them in his life. Ex-SIL has a problem with me over a post on FB fom 2yr ago and she thought I called the probation officer on her sister. I get it she is being big sister but I'm not one to F with. "I ain't a killa but don't push me" lol I take the higher road and stay out of it all and sit back and laugh. I'm sure if SIL knew the truth she would see things differently but I don't need validation from her. My thing is Ex-SIL will take DH word "I will put money on the phone card as soon as I can"  and tell meth mom. She will take it as a sign that DH still loves her and continue to live in her fairytale  head. 

He understands why I got upset and he knows it's important to me be included in thoes typ of decisions. It's always been that way. I hope he continues to communicate with me on this. 

Comments

notsurehowtodeal's picture

So is he going to put money on the phone card? You are right, when BM finds out she is going to see it as a sign that he wants her to continue calling, even if he never answers. I still don't understand why he is even considering putting money on her card - she is not calling SS.

 

VNichol's picture

I have no clue on why he even considered it, he may have thought it's what he is supposed to do? WRONG !!!!!! 

I do believe that keeping contact with her son is a good for her recovery. As long as we arent paying for the calls. She is not even been sentenced yet. She I just sitting in the county waiting for her court date. I see no reason for contact right now. DH agrees on this too. She hasn't done anything but cry for help from the people the screwed over ( her parents and siblings)! She has proven time after time, if DH gives in (in regards of the child) an inch, she takes a mile. Meaning she uses the child for her advantage in any and every situation for HER gain. We discussed everything I've bloged about and we are on the same page now. 

Now we think she will not get jail time but be sent to a state  rehab facility prision for 6-8 months. Its her first felony and getting in troble for actually having drugs on her. The first one was for a weed pipe and thats not major here. That's what's best for her. I personally don't think it will have any long term success when she is released. Just a slap on the wrist evethough she has been before this judge 4 times. Who's knows, just have to wait till 4/8 for sentencing.

Harry's picture

BM is going to recover, but does not have $10 to put in a phone card.  Is not that part of recovering.  Being an adult ?  No to be treated as a baby or child.  If a adult wants to speak to there child, they get some type of a job and buy a phone card.  Not having her EX husband do it. 

You are being sucked into BM world 

VNichol's picture

This community gives me the freedom to vent and get it out so that I'm not sucked in he BM whirlpool. I do not have anyone in my small circle who can relate. I've been entertained and I'm glad I can entertain yall!( not being sarcastic but I do go back and read what I've posted and I do laugh a myself) 

I agree with you she needs to be an adult. If she can do adult drugs such as meth, then you can have  source of income. 

Cooooookies's picture

So what is resolved exactly?  Is he not going to give BM any form of money?  Has he called the jail to request the excessive phone calls are stopped or limited?  Has he requested that her post be stopped or at least screened so no more lover letters go through?  Has he told ex MIL and SIL that BM is not his responsibility and is now going to enforce healthy boundaries with them and back up his wife...you?

All he's promised is communication according to what you've posted... that really solves nothing of what you were upset about. 

VNichol's picture

Your correct, the next step is DH informing her of the boundaries. MIL and SIL  have actually do not oppose to the way DH I handling her. (No response or calls from  cries)

I also see that DH is Not handling the situation by NOT doing anything about it.( During our discussion he did say, " I will no have anyone tell me what to do !") LMAO ohhhhh OK!!!!  He's already knows I'm not dealing with that. 

 

Thanks you guys for the replies!