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What's done, IS DONE!

VNichol's picture

I gave myself time before trying to have an adult conversation with my now EX-BF. I wanted to take a step back and let him take care of his household while I take care of mine while we DATE!  We both were package deals when we met and it worked well in the beginning. If I knew the hilight of this relationship would be moving in with him, I would have waited. After a year of actual living together (pre-living dating don't count), I would have expected our to progress in some way. Nope nothing, not even listed as an emergency contact for anything. FiINE, have it your way......less I am expected to do!!!!!! 

I finally had a day off work where I can go back to his house and get whatever I may have left because it didn't fit in my Jeep. He was at work and I was able to take my time. Afterwards I told him I was there and if he wanted to sit down later and talk. His reply," I just can't do his, blah blah blah blah..... Go-ahead and leave my key somewhere!!!"  I say," OK" and we argued about that!!!! I was hurt, upset and shocked to see he had given up completely! NOPE, I bet someone is in his ear about " just let her go, it's her loss blah blah blah..."  So after I finish my errands I go leave the key and get in with my day. The deed is DONE, he had made up his mind to NOT try a different way. Later on that night I let him know a few things like," hey, I bought the dog a harness it's in the pantry with his snacks, did you find your key, the meat in the freezer in a brown bag are 6 Tbone steaks... enjoy and hey you used too much silicone on the thermostat and it was blocking the flow and that's why the overheating." He realizes that I was off work and flips out...... LMAO  REALLY!!!!! Are you being serious? I asked him at 11:11am if he wanted to talk later and he basically said NO, and leave his key!!!!!! So I did¿!? I am reaching out to him and still he doesn't hear me!!!!! I'm getting pushed away. Fine by me, let me just get through this part of the breakup. 

He wants to do the dance of back and forth with the blame game..... Um no WE BOTH MADE UP OUR MINDS TO DO WHAT WE DID. 

After all this time I feel like a damn fool. If a relationship is not progressing forward after this much time, it's time to move on! 

No more dating out of my comfort zone. Single man with no kids is where I need to stay! 


Thank you all for the advice and not so nice thing I needed to read. This truly is an outlet that ha made a huge difference in the way I have relationships. 


lieutenant_dad's picture

Excellent. Now block his number and unfriend/unlike/untweet him on social media. He's a big boy and can figure out why his thermostat is effed and what meat is in the freezer. Stop doing the back and forth, and remove the temptation to do back and forth.

Curious Georgetta's picture

mentally rehashing this past  relationship. It did not work . You had different expectations. This could have happened with a man with kids or without kids.

Every man who wants a woman or  a relationship is not necessarily looking for a wife or even a life time partner.

You need to be candid about your expectations as a relationship develops. You cannot just assume that your partner shares your views and long term goals.

When you do not discuss goals, financial plans ,  parenting styles, etc ,these things almost always become later stage issues in the relationship.


VNichol's picture

That's the thing, we did discuss all that before I decided to move further in he relationship. It was 3 months in and we had that talk