SD's banquet = raging success!
You may or may not remember, but last month I was fretting about whether or not to attend SD's swim banquet because of BM's history of making everyone's life a living hell trying to keep me out. Well, we all went yesterday and it was a raging success!
We dropped our little one with my mom so we wouldn't have to sit through 3 1/2 hours of awards with an active toddler and we arrived 25 minutes early. BM was already there because she volunteers with the swim team. I went straight to the restroom (the baby had been jumping on my bladder in the car for an hour and a half!) and when I came out, there was some confusion at the registration table. BF was signing us in and BM was saying something like "no, you owe $16" and the parent at the registration table said "no, everyone is all paid up according to my records." Apparently, she was trying to make BF out to be a deadbeat dad who was refusing to pay for their daughter's ticket, but when he had offered last month she said she didn't have to pay because she's a volunteer! Isn't she a gem? Anyway, the parent at the registration table explained that "BM paid for SD and she would like you to pay us so we can reimburse her." We put on a happy face and went back to the car for my checkbook. BF has no money, so I put up the $66 for the tickets. I'm not complaining. It's for SD. I didn't get angry at BM's stupid games. I just paid with a smile and I'm so proud of myself that I didn't let it get to me!
So while we were getting the checkbook, SD had disappeared. We walk past BM who is storming off to the restroom, hairbrush in hand, shaking her head, saying "I'm going to brush her hair whether she likes it or not!" as though SD hadn't already taken care of that herself at our house. Just another jab at us in front of everyone to show that we're bad parents. It gets even better: BM had sent SD to the restroom to change out of the clothes we brought her in and into the clothes she brought for her while we were getting the checkbook! Does she have control issues, or what? Then she had the nerve to put the clothes that *I* bought for SD into a zipped backpack and placed it under her table. I just calmly went over to SD when BM was off schmoozing and said "hey my love, you wanna grab your clothes so we can bring them back with us? You're getting low on clothes since they're not making it back to our house very often. Isn't it hard living in 2 homes?" She ran off and happily got her clothes. Later, BM tried to get them BACK! These are clothes she's never even seen before and she was trying to say they were hers! I said, "oh no, I bought them for SD for Christmas. I still have the receipts if you want." And low and behold, I didn't get mad - I just laughed at how ridiculous she is! Hooray!
When we came in to find our seats, we had our pick because we were so early. We started to sit next to SD and BM laughs long and hard (a little too long and hard because it wasn't that funny). She said "oh no no no no no, the parents don't sit with the swimmers! hahahaha ahahahaha! mwahahahahaha" Wow, she really gets off when we're wrong! She couldn't stop laughing at us. Oh and by the way, there were plenty of kids sitting with their parents - mainly the 10 and under crowd though. I totally understand that SD, at age 11, would want to sit with her friends. I preferred it that way anyway, for a couple of reasons. 1) It meant I didn't have to sit there and play nicey-nice for 3 1/2 hours with BM and her father, both of whom despise me. 2) I got to observe SD interact with her friends, which I don't have a lot of opportunity to do and I got a kick out of watching her be the little leader of the pack. It's a different side of her that I'm not used to. Very cute. I enjoyed it, especially when SD brought her best friend over and they begged to have her come over to our house after the banquet.
This was probably the crowning moment. For 2 1/2 years, we've told SD she can invite friends over and she always looks uncomfortable and declines because BM pours it into her ear that her friends' parents would be uncomfortable letting their children go to someone's house they don't know. Well, we know this friend's parents because we've seen them at every swim meet for years now and they happily obliged. The girls were ecstatic and BM was fuming. Amazingly, she didn't make a scene, just insisted that we bring them back to her place instead of dropping off the friend at home. I guess she didn't want us getting THAT close to the friend's family by going to their house. That was fine, because it gave us more time to play!
We had the best time with the girls. SD showed off her room and her things and her friend was so impressed and excited to see her other home. Then we ran off to the stables where SD is taking riding lessons so she could show off "her" horse. They had changed out of their dress clothes and SD lent an outfit to her friend so we ended up losing not one, but two more outfits to the other side because they didn't have time to change before heading back. (sigh) Oh well, there's hope that SD will bring them back. If not, I guess I'll just have to buy her more, as is customary.
So there was plenty of trivial crap over the banquet, but NONE of it got me down, my fiance and I just relished the lovely day we had with SD and breathed a sigh of relief that BM was relatively drama-free. I mean, she's had SD driven to fits of tears for weeks before events like this because she's on a rampage to keep me away. When SD disappeared, both of us were petrified she was off crying somewhere because of something BM said or did because that's what has happened in the past. But we made it through this one completely unscathed! I am so tickled!
Just thought I'd share, as I know there are a lot of you following this saga. God, it feels like some kind of soap opera! It feels good to have a good episode. Stay tuned!