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O/T Update On Being Stalked At Work

Unhappy's picture

Submitted by Unhappy on Thu, 02/24/2011 - 6:09pm

So here's an update to any of you out there that read my blog about the stalker I have at work and a gerneral overview for those of you who missed it.

For the last year and a half I have been being stalked at work. At one point this guy waited for me to come home and then pulled in right behind my car so couldn't leave when I had my daughter with me wanting me to go some bar with him. (I have moved in with my SO since then.)He also does this thing where when ever he sees me he just stares at me. He won't take his eyes off of me. This happens everyday, multiple times a day. The most recent occurance was when he walked by last week with his mouth open as wide as he could get it and his head tilted up while he was looking down and just staring at me. He walked the entire entrance of the area that I work in like that, which is about six feet or more. It's just wierd. I think I know what he was implying though as I'm sure you all do too.

After that I went to one of the head people that I work with and explained the situation to her. The next day she came over and was chatting with me when he walked by yet again just staring at me as he passed the entrance with this little smirk on his face right in front of her and she saw it. He didn't notice her standing there until he got to the end of the entrance. So at this point HR is getting involved for the third time and hopefully the last.

He knows something is happening. He hasn't stared at me since that moment and has been trying to make nice with my boss. I hope that he is scared, stressed out, and completely uncomfortable at work. It's just a taste of what he has put me through. And I hope they fire his supid !ss after this. }:)

Comments

Frustrated New Wife's picture

Submitted by Frustrated New Wife on Thu, 02/24/2011 - 7:01pm

I'm sorry you are having to go through this Sad I hope that HR does fire him, but before that happens he has plenty of time to squirm and wonder what is coming his way. Karma is a bitch }:)

Done WIth It's picture

Submitted by Done WIth It on Thu, 02/24/2011 - 10:11pm

To bad you catch him with a video. Do you have a cell phone that takes photos? Is there anywhere at your workplace that has security cameras?

This creep needs to be busted in a big way. You might consider hiring someone to stay in the backgroud, observe, and take photos.

With the proof provided to the HR, it might send him on his way....which is to be out the door and onto the pavement!!

ddakan's picture

Submitted by ddakan on Fri, 02/25/2011 - 12:24am

I usually would stand up, walk over and say, BUD, DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM?? really loud. It embarrasses the guy and they stop.

I know its scary because he knew where you live. I hate it when pervs are so pervy.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Fri, 02/25/2011 - 1:01am

Even an unwanted look can be a hostile act in the work environment. I would file a formal hostile work environment complaint with HR clearly stating that the behavior by this perv has not stopped and if the company does not ensure that stops immediately and permanently that you will be filing a suit against the company and the perv. Enough is enough.

If the company tries to feed you a line of crap that they can not discipline anyone for a look call BS on them.

Many years ago early in my engineering management career a group of young new college graduate new hire engineers (all male) were in the company lobby/break area when a very attractive and shapely female engineer walked across the lobby then up the stairs. The guys stopped their conversation, watched her walk across the lobby then up the stairs. When she topped the stairs they returned to their conversation. Nothing offensive was said and the young lady they had admired walking across the lobby was not mentioned or commented on.

The lady the guys were admiring did not notice them at all.

At the back of the lobby/break area another woman engineer was taking her break and reading a book. When the guys stopped talking she looked up and observed them watching the other woman walk across the lobby and up the stairs.

The lady that noticed the guys watching the other lady filed an HR hostile work environment complaint and the guys were severely reprimanded and a permanent LOR was put in their files. All but one of them just sucked it up but one was clear that he thought the LOR was bullshit. They fired him.

The entire facility then had to go through updated sensitivity training on the new "2 second rule" which stated that when glancing at someone that you are not in direct conversation with there is a 2 second limit to how long you can look at them.

I understood completely the need for the guys to modify their behavior in the work environment but the 2second rule I thought was ridiculous. So, I bought my entire department stop watches on lanyards to wear around their necks to give everyone the tools they needed to comply with the new HR policy. I bought cheap digital stopwatches from Jumbo Sports that were $5.00 a piece.

My VP laughed his ass off when he saw all of my department clicking stopwatches every time someone would walk past the department cube pod. The HR director did not find it so funny.

The perv in your office is way over the top and needs to be severely disciplined. This is far more than just a look.

Good luck.

Unhappy's picture

Submitted by Unhappy on Fri, 02/25/2011 - 4:46pm

In regards to confronting this guy, I have asked to do this several times but my boss will not allow it. Believe me when I tell you that I am no victim. But I also have to watch my own behavior as well. I have a bit of a mouth on me and probably would have said some pretty work inapropraite things to him. Not that he wouldn't have deserved it. And unfortuantely I work in a secure building where unless you work here you're not getting past security and they have a strict policy about cameras and cell phones. They don't want anybody stealing their secrets. But I do have over half a dozen witnesses to his behavior towards me who have written statements and I have also drawn up my own statement and sent it to our HR rep pretty much demanding that something be done about this.

And since the incident where he waited for me to come home I have purchased some pepper spray laced with military grade tear gas that's supposed to pretty much drop the person when you spray them and I also carry a baseball bat in the trunk of my car. If he pulls that again not only will he be down on the ground gagging for air but he'll also learn a valuable lesson about how it feels to be a baseball. Maybe he'll choose his victims a little better next time.