Update from blog on Yesterday...DH cheating...

Well, I contacted my lawyer yesterday. My lawyer was very impressed with me. DH and I have always had separate banking accounts, credit cards, car loans...etc We do not have kids together. The furniture in the house is my furniture. I purchased it before DH moved in.The apartment is rented in my name. Electric, and cable bills are all in my name. He has his own cell plan. We have NOTHING we share together.

My lawyer tells me of course, I could go for the adultery. It is the fastest divorce but also the most costly one. I told him I would rather just stick to cheap. With my 1st dh, it cost over $6,000. I had to hire a private detective. Finally I just agreed to a no fault to keep from spending more money. There is a 6 month waiting period here and I have to get DH out of my house. We have to be apart six months before I can file. UGGGGHHH.

My lawyer told me to lay low for a few days. DH doesn't have any money. He has maxed out his credit cards. He doesn't have any family or friends here that will allow him to crash with them. He could I guess stay with BM... She has been dying to get him back every since we started dating. He can refuse to leave and make life hell here. Yeah, I could get him out legally but it would cost me a fortune and a lot of time. My lawyer is trying to find away to get him out as soon as possible. DH has told me multiple times that he would NEVER leave. I could leave but I would need to get a new apartment. I really do not want to do that right now but I would do it if it is the last resort. I am planning a move in a little over a year possibly to a different state. My son will be out of school then and I can finally move where ever I want to move without having to worry about custody issues with my ex.

Yesterday, I knew that DH was going to talk to the woman on his way home. He didn't call me at all. He walked in the door talking to her only because I opened the front door and was staring at him while he was on the phone. He had plans to sit in his car and continue to talk to her. He had already been talking to her for over an hour. His commute from work is a little over an hour. He told me that she was just an old friend from school that was asking about his brother. DH had a guilty conscience. I just basically blew it off. Yes, it was hard to do that but I didn't want him to know that I know until I find out what I can do to get him out. He wanted to sit next to me and hug on me. I told him that I was feeling sickly and it may be the "flu" so he needed to STAY AWAY. He sent me a text this morning saying how much he loves me and hopes I am feeling better...Nope, I will not feel better until I can get him out of the house so I am not sure how long this "flu" is going to last.

I was dreading having him home after work yesterday. I really wasn't sure I could pull it off and not say anything. It was actually very comical. I was watching him jump through hoops. He had such a guilty conscience. I told him that I didn't feel like getting up and I needed a drink. He didn't bring one with ice, and I needed ice. Of course, I tell him this when he gets half way up the stairs. I then wait until he walks away and ask for a cold rag for my head. I continued on last night whenever he tried to talk, I was coughing. I was actually having a fairly good time pretending to be sick.

I am hoping to get a call from my lawyer today with some good news. I really do not know how long I can continue to pay this off.

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Hugs to you. I'm so sorry.

Hugs to you. I'm so sorry. I told you mine left his email up and I busted him. Before I really started reading the emails, I had emailed her and said "Who are you and why are you emailing my husband?" She tried the "its just a fantasy thing and we haven't really hooked up." So then I got curious abut his other email accounts. It wasn't hard to break into them. I just had to know his mother's maiden name and his highschool mascot which a google search revealed and whamo I was in his other email! She emailed him there, "SHE KNOWS!" So I just sent her a quick email from that one that I busted into it too and "Fantasy my butt." So then she resorted to facebook emailing him cause she was totally in panic mode at that time cause she had a hubby and two kids and knew I had every email correspondence for the past three years between them. He hadn't deleted a thing. There were pictures and videos!!!!!!!!!! and in her office at work too. It was disgusting. So I broke into his facebook email too. and I responded to her frantic messages to him that "OH lookee here.... I got into his facebook too.. What were you saying? it was all fantasy that you're worried that I'm going to tell your hubs?? You know what?? I think you should tell your hubs. Give him the courtesy that I never got." He had gone to the movies when he left the email up. I was cool as a cucumber. Forwarding, forwarding, forwarding, forwarding for hours. Didn't cry. I was in total shock but I knew I had to protect myself in a divorce. Also I got her fired. She WAS a University of Florida employee using her work email and office to conduct her affair with my husband. University email are public records and I put in a request and forwarded all the videos and pics to her boss! and I offered her hubs anything that I had uncovered and he got the kids and the house in their divorce.

but try that mother's maiden name highschool mascot trick. It worked for me and I hit paydirt!

OMG me too! I busted him

OMG me too! I busted him Friday and was at the lawyer's office Monday!

You know, yesterday, I was

You know, yesterday, I was seriously thinking about sending her a nice little message. I didn't I just decided against it because of what my lawyer says. I did notice that she was listed as married on facebook but didn't show a link to her husband though. She talks trash about him all the time. I am not sure how long they have been married. It just floors me. I know where she works. It is so amazing how much people put on social media.

To prove adultery, I would

To prove adultery, I would have to hire a private investigator. I know during my last divorce the PI charged me about 2500 and that was over 10 years ago. I had to wait 12 months with my last divorce because we had kids together.

Yeah, my lawyer told me that he thinks we will have to do the eviction. It also seems that if DH wants there is a way to drag out the eviction. I am hoping for good news today. If my lawyer doesn't call me back today, I will have to wait until after Christmas. I would rather him just get his things and leave. I know he will not make it that easy. I am afraid he may try to get me fired from my job since I work from home.

My lawyer is trying to find

My lawyer is trying to find out everything. My concern will be that DH doesn't leave right away and he will stay and make my life miserable. I just want him out NOW. I am impatient and I do not wish to wait but I will if I need to do so.

My lawyer is trying to find

Will DH be willing to leave

Will DH be willing to leave his "sick" wife so he can leave for the weekend to visit his "mother?" Kudos on your acting skills!

LOL...I had to pretend or I

LOL...I had to pretend or I would have just busted out and told him everything that I know.

LOL...I had to pretend or I

LOL...I had to pretend or I would have just busted out and told him everything that I know.

***

In my state we have to be

In my state we have to be separated 6 months before we can file for divorce for no fault. I have to either get him out of the house or get someone to lie for me and say he has been out of the house 6 months (which I doubt I could find). If I could prove adultery it would be almost immediate but will cost much more.

DH struggles paying "his" bills. He doesn't contribute to any of the household bills. He lost his job about 2 years ago and took a low paying job. He didn't make enough to pay anything other than his bills. Luckily, I received a few promotions at work and was able to pay my bills, household bills and put some money in savings. He has found another job but he hasn't been able to "catch up" on his current bills.

Since he has zero money, bad credit, and no money left on his credit cards...he is SOL. He is behind on his car payment. He just doesn't have the money to leave and he would stay just to be an ass.

In my state we have to be

Since he has zero money, bad credit, and no money left on his credit cards...he is SOL. He is behind on his car payment. He just doesn't have the money to leave and he would stay just to be an ass.

In my state we have to be

Since he has zero money, bad credit, and no money left on his credit cards...he is SOL. He is behind on his car payment. He just doesn't have the money to leave and he would stay just to be an ass.

just to be an @$$. for $#!ts

just to be an @$$. for $#!ts and giggles. my ex was like that, i even had to hire a different attorney because my first didnt want to deal with the drama, she only took my case when she thought it was gonna be an over-and-done cakewalk.

i took my car, he took his, material items were of no real concern (he took what he wanted, i got what i wanted, and the rest was chunked. so it shoulda been easy-peasy. but NOOOOOOOO he wanted to be a jack@$$ about the bank account. he dragged it out for SIX EFFING months.

How much would it cost to

How much would it cost to break the lease? If you are the only one on the lease, and you end the lease - he would have to move. Check with your landlord, it might be cheaper and easier to end the lease early than to try and get DH to move out.

I do not have a lease. It is

I do not have a lease. It is month to month. I have lived here for about 8 years. I was hoping to stay only another year and then move out of state. My youngest in still in school and will graduate next year. I would rather not move but if I have to...I have to... My lawyer seems to think that if I move out there still may be some legal issue there. I would still have to tell DH and that may cause problems with my job since I work from home. I am hoping I just find some place, wait until I am ready to move and tell him...I am outta here see ya. I do have to give a 30 day notice here. Then the landlord will have to deal with him which may come back to bite me in the behind.

In Virginia, where the op is,

In Virginia, where the op is, it is really hard to get alimony except in long term marriages with certain circumstances (i.e. Sahm). If there is adultry is a factor, then it is actually a misdeamner in Virginia, and the person committing is barred from receiving any alimony.

How Long have you been

How Long have you been married? Sorry this is happening to you.

I think the easiest thing to

I think the easiest thing to do is move. He can't stay there; he's not on the lease. Move with your son and tell the landlord about him, they'll prob give him 30 days lol. I'm a landlady and there are all kinds of laws that protect the tenant is cases like this. Move! Don't worry, the rest will take care of itself.

Could you move to another

Could you move to another apartment within the same apt complex? That would require you to technically get a new lease.

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Update from blog on Yesterday...DH cheating...

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