BM has lost it!
BM has been unemployed since August, and apparently the stress has caused her to come unhinged.
BM and DH have gotten into some nasty fights lately. BM wants to romanticize their time together and reminisce, and DH pulls an asshole move by going along with it (to a certain degree) to see what kind of dirt she'll spill. Their last two conversations ended with BM screaming obscenities at DH and hanging up on him.
But now she's brought SD14 into it. Today she told DH that he and I were emotionally damaging to SD14 and that it takes her a month to put the pieces back together every time she sees us. She told him she was "tired of being (his) cheerleader and covering up (his) shortcomings!" DH told her that he will always admit his shortcomings and discuss them if asked - he said he has changed his life by quitting drinking and realized that he was not happy or really living the way he wanted to when he was drinking. He made a lot of mistakes. This prompted BM to retort, "So now I'm a mistake??" (aside by me when hearing this: why yes, yes you were) Oh, and we're also going to hell because we're horrible heathens who don't go overboard on Christmas and *gasp* don't believe in Our Lord And Savior, Jesus Christ. All I have to say about that is that we have a set of morals - like another poster said, standing in a church makes you a Christian as much as standing in a garage makes you a car. We don't backstab or talk trash about BM in front of SD14, we don't lie, cheat, or steal. We value hard work and living right. We admit when we're wrong, and are willing to talk about issues, rather than declaring "my way or the highway!" If that makes us horrible people, then so be it.
BM then started threatening to withhold visitation to "protect SDstb15, (BM'll) do anything (she) has to, (DH) won't see (SD14) ever again!"
Um... All I can say is, bring it, bitch. We have the cash to get the best lawyer in the state, and more importantly, I have at least four emails from SD14 THIS WEEK saying "I love you" and "I miss you guys so much."
It's a lot of hot air, but damn, dealing with it (even secondhand) is exhausting. 3 1/2 more years, and then DH can legally never speak to her again.
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The religion thing drives me
The religion thing drives me f'n nuts. We are not Christian, my kids and DH's kids were raised in another religion. BM and her family were never Christian. Maybe in name, if asked, but never in practice-never went to church or any of that. However, just to piss DH off, BM has been taking skids to church. Even though in the CO, DH has final call on all major decisions including religion.
I hate people who play the 'holier than thou' crap. She's got 2 reasons to take them to church. 1-to piss off DH. 2-to look like a 'changed woman' when she tries to file for another hearing.
Even SD13 (who loves her mom and wants everyone to be happy and tries to remain neutral) said 'I thought mama was taking us to church just to impress moms new hubby'.
That's sad.... poor kid. I
That's sad.... poor kid. I don't think our judge will fall for our BM's 'Christian' bs. She's married to a bisexual, and they have their boyfriend over for 'laundry' all the time. SD13 isn't stupid, she knows it doesn't take 3 adults going into a bedroom to do laundry...
I'm not christian either and
I'm not christian either and I was terrified of BM2 finding this out. Finally a few months ago I just told her and it was a big relief off of my shoulders when she didnt freak out. I do hope that nothing ever happens where she would feel the need to throw that in my DH's face. I dont think BM#1 would care...as I doubt she would claim herself as much of a christian anyway. SD13 knows I'm not christian and she doesnt care.....but I'm sure she has mentioned it to her BM. No matter, it has never been brought up and I could care less what she thinks anyway.
I've always identified as
I've always identified as agnostic rather than atheist - I don't think religion is wrong or stupid; if it's useful and a comfort to you, more power to you. If SD14 wants to go to church, (she doesn't) I would happily get dressed up and take her every week. Being respectful of something I don't necessarily believe in is also an important lesson I'd like her to learn.
All three of them were raised Catholic, but DH lapsed, and BM left the Church because they wouldn't recognize her second marriage. So now they go to a Southern Baptist church after four years of not going at all. At least DH and I are honest about what we believe and we try to teach SD14 that if you're not going to identify as religious, you need to develop a set of morals and standards and hold yourself to them.
BM did relent on giving SD14 up for visitation - DH told SD14 that we'd probably be doing gift cards or a shopping trip or two rather than going overboard with "presents under the tree." SD14 exclaimed that she liked it when we did it that way, and BM hollered in the background, "All I can say is you had better be observing the Birth of Christ!!" DH told SD14 to tell her mother that we'd be observing a birthday on Christmas, all right. He said it to get a rise out of her; DH's birthday is Christmas Day.
OMG crazyisnot...do we have
OMG crazyisnot...do we have the same BM??
Our BM, in the 6.5 years I've been with FDH, is all over the map with beliefs/religion.
I think she practiced wicca (?) or something when I met FDH & had "namaste" stickers all over her car?!? She was always dressed in black, cleavage hanging out, black nailpolish, went to Salem, Mass to some kind of "witch" convention, etc...
About a year ago, I think she "converted" to Buddhism. According to fskids, she "collects" buddha statues (small and large) - and they even recently asked FDH to buy them one (about 2 ft tall) so they could give it to BM for Christmas!
Here's the kicker...she ALSO has recently gotten a massive tattoo that covers almost her ENTIRE BACK!! It's weird - kind of looks like a weird shaped face?? It has two "eyes", a squiggly line (where a nose would be) and some other weird symbols (where a mouth would be). She also got some Chinese symbol on the back of her neck as well before that.
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS CRAP, ANYWAY????
When FDH first saw her new massive tattoo that covered her entire back, he said "OMG that is disgusting!"...and I said "Yeah, FDH, that's your CHILD SUPPORT $$$ hard at work!!" lol
"Buddha statues" This. lol My
"Buddha statues"
This. lol
My jewish husband has always been "pulled" to them so I have a beautiful, jade green one to gift to him.
I do not nor ever will
I do not nor ever will believe in any organized religion. It makes no sense to me with an entire universe waiting for us.
"What" I do believe in is, Love...
"Namaste" means; "The divine in me honors the divine in you."
Kudos to you and stand your ground.