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BM - clueless about SD's life and blaming DH

NCMilGal's picture

Just a little background:

DH got selected to move to Washington state for the military in April 2013, while I was in Afghanistan. In May, BM dumped SD18 on DH. DH and SD18 moved to WA in August, I returned to the States in October, and am in the final stages of moving out to WA, hopefully next week.

DH got scheduled to go TDY to Kentucky from 04 Feb to 07 Mar. This means SD18 was left at home alone with the dogs. DH's boss (and his wife, who is great with SD18) live a block and a half away, and offered to take SD18 in, and heck, bring the dogs too, but she wanted to stay at the house.

DH has been slowly ceasing communication with BM. All she wants to do is tell him what a shitty parent he is, or make expensive suggestions for SD18's college, (without providing a dime in CS or college money) or just try to stick her nose in his business. So DH didn't tell BM that he was TDY this month.

Turns out that DH's trip was cut short, and he's going home tomorrow. The first contact he gets from BM since Christmas is a snarky text today asking when he's going home. After he tells her, she launches into a rant, telling him he's a shitty parent for leaving HER DAUGHTER all alone, and ESPECIALLY for not telling her (BM) what was going on. Her final words were, "I'm asking for this communication for SD18's sake, not mine!"

Right, BM, whatever. BM never once consulted us when she was dumping SD off at friends houses for the entire summer, or when she was sticking SD with babysitting her younger brother for a week at a time while BM and her DH went out and partied.

So DH, with my advise, replied the following:

"In case you hadn't noticed, SD is 18 now. She is handling me being away like an adult and I am proud of her. If she wants you to know what is going on in her life, she will tell you. You are her cross to bear now, not mine." (He really wanted to put that last line in)

I told him to block her after that, but he hasn't. He says he can't figure it out. So anybody know how to block numbers on an iPhone? Blum 3


msg1986's picture

sounds like she is trying to make herself feel better about abandoning her kid. Good for your husband for what he said.

if you have the newest i phone you go to the contact card and at the bottom it should say block this person or something like that.

EDIT: sorry!! you have to go to the contact card and hit "edit" in the upper right side and then it shows block this person at the bottom.