BM just called
And wow, I've been a fool.
I could have sworn that SD14 was smarter than this, but apparently not. She was just caught - for the second time this year - sending extremely explicit texts to her new boyfriend. She's only been "dating" him since Saturday. When BM talked to the boy's mother, she found out that he had talked at least two other 12-yr-olds he had "dated" into sending explicit photos to him.
Kudos to BM - she's taken the phone away, (last time, she lost it for three months) taken the netbook away, and (I believe) is taking the bedroom door off the hinges. When SD14 comes to MIL's house to see us week after next, she is to be forbidden use of the phone or internet.
BM and her DH are at wits end. I may not like her, but on this issue, all four of us are on the same page. DH and I are really glad BM called us to keep us in the loop. There is NO WAY that SD14 is going to be able to play us against each other. Not about this, she's not.
So what do you do with a sexually precocious 14YO girl who has made the same mistake three times now? (she also encouraged an online predator a year and a half ago right before her 13th birthday) We're going to brainstorm and offer suggestions via email tomorrow. I've found multiple mobile phone monitoring software packages and computer keyloggers, but that's for later IF she earns them back.