New territory - ideas on how to handle this.
Well, this posting is actually more about my bd12 then skids for a change. A couple of days ago I took both my bds and sd's cell phones because of not getting their chores done. Of course I used this time to check their phones to see what was on them. Well, through the investigation I have discovered that my bd has set up an email account and a twitter account without me knowing about it and not sure where they are going but she is uploading videos of herself to a site. Lukily not indecent videos but have learned she's got a very fowl mouth. Looking at sd's phone I seen that she knows about bds email and is also friends with bd on her live space. The main part of this going on when she would be at my moms. The computer she gets on at my moms is in a bedroom so she is able to have privacy while online. I have not said anything to my bd yet and have planned to put a parental keylogger on the computer and let her spend the night at my moms this weekend so I can find out what site the videos are going to and to get passwords and user names. I don't know yet what the extent of sd's involvement is. Hopefully I will also find that out with the keylogger. I am not sure how I want to handle this yet. I do know that I will be placing major restrictions on bd's cell phone. I want to make sure that she never does this again. I never had this problem with my son so not sure on the best way to handle this.
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You need to take the phone
You need to take the phone away after you figure out what she has going on. Sounds like you are staying on top of it. You need to tell your mom that this has been going on in her house after you put the software on. Good luck...
I will ask you to see what
I will ask you to see what you find out before deciding to place any restrictions. When I found out that my teenage sister (who I raised) joined a social networking site I was livid. I assumed the worst since she had hidden it. So I secretly got her password and logged in to find . . . nothing. She had a potty mouth, sure. But other than that the site was full of goofy comments from her friends. So she had "rebelled" by doing the same thing she had been doing for years. Only this time the silly chatter was password protected and that made it so much more fun!
I ended up watching the site for years (could probably still log on now that she's twenty!) and using it to find out when she was really up to something she shouldn't be. She never found out how I knew about what she was doing, and I had a way of tracking her for my own peace of mind.
Good luck, and I hope you find out something mostly innocent is going on.
I'm definately hoping it is
I'm definately hoping it is nothing too bad. My main concern I think is that she is uploading videos of herself. The ones I found on the phone aren't bad thankfully but I don't know what she's deleted. I do know she made a video of some kind the last time she was at my moms because my mother caught a glimpse of it. The title was Miley Cyrus is a slut and the video opening she had on her phone about it said something about pics to prove it so hopefully she's not going to porn sites. Unfortunately my daughter has been on computers since she could walk so she knows her way around them really good. When I told my mom about it she went to check the pc and both history and cookies had been deleted. That's when I decided to definately get a keylogger. She has been wanting to do facebook and I have told her not till she's 13 because that is the requirement of the site and the email I have allowed her to have is only accessible from my computer on outlook because it's from one of my domains. I have always been good at computers myself and used to enjoy going to the chat rooms of child pornographers so I could screw up their computers. So I have definately seen the bad things online so I don't want my daughter having full freedom online without me being able to monitor everything.
What software do you use? I'm
What software do you use? I'm not so worried on the price just want a good one that can monitor, keystrokes websites etc, and also give me control on restrictions. At what age did you let your kids start doing emails? That's one thing that I haven't been able to decide on a good age yet.
We have rules at our house
We have rules at our house that all internet accounts need to be logged in a notebook kept by the pc along with the user id and password.
My kids know that it's for me to keep them safe, to monitor their safety.
If they break the rule they will probably loose privledges of the pc, cell phone, whatever seems to fit at the moment.
I openly disclose my monitoring "snooping" in hopes that it will temper their inclination to use bad language, post inappropriate things, and get into trouble. To this end, I also keep my 'research' quiet as to lull them into a sence of security that I am not too vigilent. Sneaky I know, but I want to find some balance between keeping them safe and teaching them boundries but also allowing them some independence.