No way!
Since SS moved in with us, I have been living on the promise that he is going to the Army when he graduates at the end of next year.
I am not trying to be mean by saying that, but I won’t have to put up with all of the lying and deceit. He lies about EVERYTHING!! Example…I can ask what time he works tomorrow, he will tell me 4. DH can walk in 5 minutes later and ask him the same question and he will give him a different answer. When he is called out on it, all he says is oh, I don’t know what I was thinking. It is soooo frustrating because it is every conversation you have with the boy.
I won’t have to put up with hiding my stuff. I won’t have to hide in my own house anymore. I won’t have to gripe about him not cleaning after himself. I won’t have to see how bad of a parent my DH is. Anyway…you get the point. Lol
He told DH yesterday that he does not want to go into the Army. He just wants to chill for a few years at his part time retail job.
ARRRGGGG!!! DH said he told him he can’t do that. That if he stays here he has to work AND go to college full time. SS said he was not sure now what he wants to do.
Ladies, I don’t think I can do it. I don’t think I can stay with this boy for two more years. I just knew in my heart that SS would NEVER want to live with DH and that BM would never give up the child support. But less than a year after we married, she sent him to us. If I thought it was a chance of that happening, I don’t think I would have gotten married yet. ARRRGG. And I love my DH so much, but daum!!
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Oh gosh...well, I'm sorta
Oh gosh...well, I'm sorta thinking if you didnt want him living with you in the first place, and your only bargaining factor was that he was leaving for the Army next year, when did that offer change to "work and school full time?" It seems like all this negotiating is being done, but underneath, you simply dont want him there, and had you known it would be like this it wouldve been a dealbreaker?
For me, I'd have the same issue, as there is no way in hell SS would EVER be "sent to live with us" - um...not happening! I'd sooner tell DH to get out. Actually, that's happened...BM at least TRIED to say "SS needs to come live with you" and I told DH forget it, and DH knowing his choices, told BM no. Of course I get attitude for it at times, but I dont care. Not budging on that one!
I think your only recourse is to be HONEST. Brutally honest! And tell your DH pretty much what you told us. You've given in too much already, and are only getting yourself stuck in a situation you dont want to be in.
I am hoping that ss16 will
I am hoping that ss16 will make a simular decision. the girls have been working since they were 14, graduated early and such but you cant get ss to get off his ass to do anything. Only if you are right there besides him can you get him to do anything. He constantly has his room a mess, food/drinks all over and you can follow his path around the house. His idea of looking for a job is going in and asking for the applications - he must think that they fill themselves out.
(these are all things that I have taught hime and that he does know how to do)
I can't even think of him being here at 18 and continuing to fail school without working and bumbing off of us. All that he will end up doing is moving in with his mother and bumbing unless we get things set up for the military so that he will have a chance to grow up and learn some responsibility along then to have a chance to learn some working skills.
when did that offer change to
when did that offer change to "work and school full time?"
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
That has always been the offer. To him and my two kids. BUT, SS has wanted to go in the navy for a long time.
Now when it is getting down to crunch time, he does not want to go! But he will never make it in college. He is barely passing HS and is graduating late due to failing part of a semester.
So how does that
So how does that work...kicking your kid out when they DONT have a job or arent in school? Like where do they go? Will you have the gumption to follow thru on your threat? My kids are not teens yet, but I like to hear how others handle this stuff to keep in my bag of tricks for later!