You are here

This B!#@&!

Willow2010's picture

My granddaughters BM is going to drive me to drink....more.  UGH

Quick recap.  She is crazy.  She hates my DS and all of us.  She hates me, and I quote..."Because I let DS move in with me when they broke up."   She totally thinks that if I would not have let DS move in with me, he would have stayed with her.  .A little while back, she was forced to let DS start seeing his child again.  He gets off a little past pick up time so I have been picking DGD up when he can't make it.  

Pick ups have been great with the baby.  They have been soso with BM.  BM will not speak to me or anyone in the family.  I mean, I can (and do) look her straight in the face at every pick up and drop off and smile and say .... "Hi BM, hows it going."  She looks through me and does not say a word.  And I mean just stone faced.  

DGD is ALWAYS happy as a lark to see me or her father.  She just smiles and reaches for us.  Every time.  But last night DGD was asleep when I got there.  BM tried to wake her up in her carseat but she was not really waking up.  So BM finally gets her out and she clings to BM.  (Still asleep).  I said hey granddaughter and she buried her head in BMs shoulder.  At this point BM is clinging to the baby as much as the baby is clinging to her.  And BM starts to whisper to the baby ..."Im sorry...Im so so sorry"  LIKE THE CHILD WAS UPSET TO COME TO ME AND BM WAS TELLING HER SORRY SHE HAD TO SEND HER WITH ME.!  I bout lost my shit.  I had to turn around and compose myself before I said something bad.  I was caught so off guard.  

So for at least 2 long and BM are clinging to each other (baby still mostly asleep).  Im just standing there not knowing what to do.  I could not just take her from BMs arms.  Finally I reach over and tap DGD and say.."Hey baby what cha doing.  Wanna come see me?"  She finally opens her eyes and notices that it is me and just starts laughing and reaching for me.  I just laugh and say..aww you are finally awake and know it is me. 

But I was livid.  BM is going to make this child hate us one day and it makes me sick.  

Oh..and DS gets her Wednesday night for 2 hours and Thursday night for 2 hours.  The baby was wearing the same nasty clothes both nights.  Makes me wanna spit.  Thanks for the vent.    


hereiam's picture

"Im sorry...Im so so sorry"

Like she's sending her off with a serial killer. Kids eventually pick up on those kinds of attitudes and whispers.

You guys have a long road ahead of you with this bitch.

strugglingSM's picture

BM tells SSs a lot how "sorry" she is, when they complain about things at our house, even if those things aren't true. 

For example, one SS recently texted her saying we had no food and he was hungry. He told her he didn't want to ask DH for food because DH would be mad at him. BM responded, "I'm so sorry. I will have yummy food for you when you get home." 

She also loves to text SSs to ask "are you okay?" when they're with us, for no reason. 

Ursula's picture

BM used to do this to my husband before SD was in school and pickups were done at her house.  SD would start crying and BM would say it's okay, Mommy's going to get this fixed soon, this will be changed soon.  It was so gross.  And then once SD woudl get herself together to walk to my husband, BM would call her back and say what about a goodbye hug for mommy and start the mess all over again.  It was crazy. 

Hopefully things will get better with time.

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

Don't be surprised if you show up to find DGD sleeping at more pick ups.  BM used to do this to DH when SD13 was a baby.  SD sleeps very heavily and is extremely crabby when she first wakes up (she is still that way). BM would purposely time SD's naps for pickup to make drop offs as difficult for DH as possible.

Willow2010's picture

BM would purposely time SD's naps for pickup to make drop offs as difficult for DH as possible.


Yep...We are pretty sure she is keeping the baby up til it is time to pick her up at 6PM.  

keepitsimplestupid's picture

going to be strong in this one. 

For the sake of your DS, GD AND yourself, please be sure to take a photograph of the baby when you pick her up, and another just before taking her back to BM.  I have a feeling this BM will get crafty and creative in the future trying to find reasons to take your DS to court to reduce visitation.  Also, each time the BM does something like that, have a couple of quips ready such as: 'aw, baby knows how much we love her' or 'baby, remember I promised you could help me bake cookies?'  Something positive for the child so when BM tries to convince her of how horrible 'you people' are, she'll have fond memories of pick-up time instead of grumpy BM attitude.

Put on your seat belts, you're in for a very bumpy ride.

Aniki-Moderator's picture


Jcksjj's picture

Ugh awful. Shes teaching the kid to be scared of you. My ODS dad and MIL have both pulled crap like this in different ways - teaching the kids to be scared of things and they're the only ones who can be trusted and "rescue" them. 

Try to get it recorded next time. I have very little knowledge about alienation, but I feel like this would probably fall into that category and actually matter in court

Jcksjj's picture

If shes literally still a baby that's normal. Usually they increase time away from the mom as the get older

lieutenant_dad's picture

Willow's last update said EOWE plus an evening or two a week. Currently, her DS is getting his daughter weekly on the weekends since BM withheld her and almost went to jail for it.

Willow2010's picture

He gets standard parenting time.  EOWE and Thursday 6PM to 8PM.

Since she had to give him back all of the parenting time she kept from him...he gets EVERY Wednesday and Thursday 6-8.  And EVERY Friday til Sunday,  It will be like this until April.  

It think that is a pretty good amount of time for a NCP.  

tog redux's picture

Honestly, OP - I think there is a very good chance that your DS is going to end up with full custody of this kid eventually. This BM is going to either do something to get her removed or get sick of being the primary parent.  I hope he will file for 50/50 as soon as he reasonably can.