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Sometimes DH says the most stupid thing!!

Willow2010's picture

Before I get to the dumb thing my DH said, I need to do a quick recap.  

SS has been out of the military for about 3-4 years.  He goes to school part time so the military gives him money for school and to live eat and play.  He has had 5-6 jobs over the years and none have lasted longer than 1 month. He either gets fired due to his attendance or attitude.   His wife goes to school full time and works full time.  She works as a vet helper.  SS actually does keep their kids most of the time since she is out at work or school most of the time.  

From the day SS got out of the military, he filed for disability from the military for a illness that can not be confirmed with a blood test or scan test.  They denied him for years but finally put him at 20 percent disabled.  So he now gets that money on top of all the other money he gets from them.  He is pissed about the  20 percent and wants 100 percent.  He hired a lawyer and is suing to military for 100 percent disability!!  So crazy.

Anyway...on to my DH.  He was talking about how SS was telling him that SS and his wife are having troubles and the main reason is because SS said she has no motivation to get a really good job and might want to stay a vet assistant.  Then DH said something along the lines that he agrees she is just not motivated.  UGH.  I actually said ... "You are telling me that SHE is not the motivated one in that marriage?!?! "  

I normally keep my mouth shut when it comes to SS but it just popped out before I could stop it.  lol.  DH got all flustered and said well SS is going to school full time and working full time and keeping the kids most of the time.  I said oh really?!  When did he go to work?  Then DH stumbles again and says well not work but he goes to school and he keeps the kids most of the time.  

UGH...  I had so much to say but it is just not worth it.  It is funny how sometimes DH is extremely embarrassed by SS, then sometimes he acts he can't remember that SS is a giant loser idiot.  lol

On the crappy side...SS keeps telling DH that they are moving back to our state in the next year.  Me and DH are going to have bad issues if that happens. 



notsurehowtodeal's picture

What is wrong with being a Veterinarian Technician - which I'm guessing she is, or is she going to school for her certification? My vet has has the same technicians for years, it is a good, steady job.

STaround's picture

But if she wants to go back to school for something else, that is OK too.   SS and DH's attitude I find outrageous.

lieutenant_dad's picture

Ah yes. Your SS is one of THOSE people.

My DH has a Former Friend who is a vet, as is my DH. Both DH and FF get VA disability for injures they received in the service (DH was non-combat, he just worked some rough jobs with idiot; FF was combat-related). FF has never really told us why he isn't friends with DH any longer, but I had always assumed it was because DH started to grow up while FF didn't.

See, FF is all about honor and men acting like "men". Men go to work and bring home the bacon. Wife takes care of the kids and maybe works a few odd jobs to help out. If you are a REAL vet (i.e. you saw combat), then you deserve accolades for your service until the end of time. FF sees himself as a God-loving, gun-toting, freedom-fighting, red-blooded American!...

...Except the dude hasn't worked a steady job in the many years I've known him (he has done some seasonal work). His wife has worked full-time and done some studying to work her way up in her company while he has exhausted his GI Bill on a degree that he likely won't be able to use because what he gets disability for would likely disqualify him from those jobs. He does take care of his kids and collect his disability check, though - while he sits around drinking and recording podcasts with my BIL, who BTW hasn't kept steady employment either and thinks his podcast will make him rich and famous (did I mention BIL is a felon and has a kid he hasn't seen or paid CS for in over a decade?).

I don't doubt FF saw things and suffers from PTSD. I don't doubt he is actually hurt from his service. But it's the *mentality*. This inflexible mentality of how people should behave and act, but he can't meet his own criteria. DH isn't "man enough" to him, but my DH manages to work 40-60 hours a week in a trade that allows him to not struggle (and would allow his kids to not struggle if not for BM). That's at least half of what a man is "supposed" to do, but my DH isn't "worthy" to be friends with him anymore because he's not "man enough".

The hypocrisy boggles my mind. It's nerdy little boys playing as men. They did manly and brave things once, but feel entitled to be uplifted forever for it. I have respect for our vets, but my parents have worked fire/EMS/police my entire life. They have literally been beaten and broken more times than I care to count (that's what happens when you work in a big city). Everyday that they could, they went to work to support us. My sympathy for someone in their 30s complaining they didn't get and aren't getting "enough" falls very short.