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boyfriend gets mad when I discipline kids

Fmorse985's picture

he’s got a 4 year old daughter  and a 5 year old daughter,

there mom has many problems wrong with her mentally and I think his kids have what she has, the 5 year old is terrible and I try and talk to him about them being disrespectful to me and him and his mom, his mom tells him all the time that they need help and they do, I don’t know what to do, if he won’t disapline his kids then i don’t want to be in the role of getting yelled at all day about how I don’t have kids and i don’t have rights about them 

justblue's picture

When children aren't disciplined properly by their PARENTS, they will have behavioral issues. To assume that these children are suffering from somekind of mental illness is...bizarre. Per your posting you likely would be better off ending this relationship now...before you get more emotionally invested. 

Fmorse985's picture

I’ve been with him for 2 years now, it’s just now starting to get bad in our relationship, I never wanted to be around the kids when we first met due to me being the “stepmom”

justblue's picture

Well...You are not the stepmother. Seriously...move on and eventually you will find a partner who has the same ideals regarding child rearing as you do. Can you imagine what it would be like if you and he were to have children? Yikes! Wink


Sparkl3s's picture

You can’t care more than the bio parents especially if you are not given any authority. Even if you were given authority you would begin to resent your SO, if you were always the bad cop.


Step life is hard when your partner does discipline the kiddos. I’m sorry given what you shared it’s only going to get worse for you. 

tog redux's picture

You can't be the only one who disciplines his kids, especially if he's not in support of it.

Find a guy who wants to be a parent.

ndc's picture

I don't think you can have a happy, healthy long term relationship with a man who won't parent his ill behaved children and expects you to take their misbehavior and disrespect without doing anything.  Cut your losses.

Miss T's picture

Ever This is not your job, not your responsibility, and if you try to do it their father, their bio Mom and they themselves will rain hell upon you. Their behavior gets on your nerves, so please re-think your relationship with this man. I get that he is the most fabulous, sweetest, most giving and loyal not to mention hottest male in the universe. Know this however: You can be replaced but his kids cannot. They are there for the long haul. Doesn't sound like you really want to be stuck with them.

Harry's picture

Most lokely there nothing that can be done with SD.  Your choice is to leave and get out before you are tied into this relationship.  Nothing is going to change except it’s is  going to get worst. 

momjeans's picture

Repeat after me “I am NOT a stepmom.”

If they’re horrible enough for your BF’s mom to be saying something about it, then you’ve got to come to terms with the fact that you need to move along, allowing this dude to find another sucker. 

Rags's picture

Time to jerk a knot in your BF's tail and let him know that if you are not considered an equity parent to any children in the home then you are not equity partners and the relationship is over.

As a Sparent you have no legal rights. But..  you have every right you choose to take in the context of the relationship you are in and in parenting and disciplining any children in your home regardless of kid biology.

So, either SO gains clarity, or he can move on.

At least that is how I would play it.