Sick of being a doormat feel so sad.
Hi I live in the UK please excuse any words abbreviations I don’t get right as I’m brand new.Im 49 my husband of 4 years is 41 we’ve been together nearly 6 years.
ive 3 daughters 23,18,13 and 3 grandchildren 2,4,5 from my eldest who lives 100 miles away.
my 18 yo lives with us fullyime and my 13 yo stays at her dads 3 nights a week.
my stepdaughter is 12 her mother has problems with alcohol and drugs I wouldn’t say she’s an addict she just often uses them to much = neglecting my stepdaughter.
lonh story short My stepdaughter has had to live with us full time for 2 months now instead of 3 nights a week as uk social services were very unhappy with her mums behaviour of drinking alcohol.
sadly my husband leave me to do all he care all husband I do everything for my daughters I also do all the cooking cleaning decorating diy shopping gardening clothes buying work from home. My husband basically works from home too 7 days a week 10-12 hours everyday meaning we spend no time together and he spends no time with his daughter.
before my step daughter came to live here this time my husband simply realised I’d had enough of havhng no relationship wiyh him and doing everything in the house.
we pay 1/2 the bills each we are having a house built so he’s paying for that we both brought the land but I still feel like a doormat.
i explained when he said his daughter was going to live here fullyime that this time he has to do things around the house cook once a week and spend time with us and he hasn’t -
my stepdaughters mother can only see her in a contact centre after telling her daughter she tried to kill her self and getting drunk in bars as well as taking cocaine in a bar. Stepdaughters mum says she can’t affird £15 for a contact centre my husband told her you can afford drink and drugs and isn’t paying and child support or seeing her daughter or buying her anything so she can afford to pay for a contact centre. It’s been over 3 weeks and the mum hasn’t bothered to arrange this or even bother seeing her daugywrbso I am doing a fulltime job for my stepdaughter for 2 parents as my husband is obviously addicted to his work and her mum isn’t bothered about seeing her daughter.
The thing is in expected to do all her care washing cooking cleaning clothes buying and sort her emotional problems out as well as do all the personal hygiene teaching as her mother hasn’t bothered - I’m the one who’s been buying all her clothes for 5.5 years out of my own money.
Im so tired I’ve had a really bad life and I just feel my husband walks all I’ve rme. Thisbyear alone my son in law aged 22 hung himself in June with my 2 year old grandson in the flat his youngest child. I’ve lost other people through death - 3 years ago I lost our baby to sepsis and I was in intensive care 4 days after this I was cooking for everyone at home.
im just so tired of it all tbh I can’t agford to live apart from my husband as I don’t earn enough and all my savings are tied up in land for our house.
How can I get my husband to see he isn’t being fair ?
he won’t do therapy and we’ve had arguments and many discussions about him not being fair he agrees and always says he’ll change but he never does.
im not allowed to disapline his daughter but I have to do both her parents jobs in her cate