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BM skipping visits and I’m not even mad about it.

SubstituteMommy's picture

BM didn't show up for her Thanksgiving time and she just informed us that she isn't showing up for her Christmas time. SD10 has lived full-time without her BM since she was one year old, so she doesn't care when her BM doesn't show up. They don't have a bond/relationship. The BM sees her for a total of seven weeks per year (non-consecutive) and SD usually spends every minute being rude to her BM and happily hanging out with psycho grandma. The BM doesn't even call during the forty five weeks that she doesn't see her daughter.

I'm usually crying and upset when the BM doesn't show up for her court ordered time with SD because I so desperately want (and need) breaks from this kid. This time, I'm not even mad about it. SD isn't scheduled to see her BM again until March, so at least we don't have to worry about her being exposed to COVID-19 again (the BM had it when SD was out-of-state visiting her for the summer). We're VERY precautious and VERY careful, while the BM is the complete opposite. I'm glad that SD is going to be safe and healthy (at least until March anyway). My SO's aunt just died from COVID-19 on Sunday night. It's no joke. Stay safe out there!


JRI's picture

She's Mother of the Year, your BM really takes the cake.

I was reading your prior blog about your SD seeming unemotional and detached.  I'm no psychologist but it seems like a coping mechanism for someone with such a negligent parent.  I truly commend you for being the 24/7 mother for this girl.  Im sure its not easy.

May you have the peaceful and healthy holiday you deserve.

justmakingthebest's picture

I am sure you do normally want a break! I am sure that, even if she doesn't show it, your SD is thankful that you are there for her and a constant in her life. 

Harry's picture

That something.   You have no control over BM.  That the part of step life no one talks about.   You know there nothing you can do.   Make the best of the weeks she at her BM