My gift to you, BM...
In a place called 'fantasy land' I like to imagine giving bm (Twat Waffle) a gift for the holidays. I've mentioned it to dh numerous times to which he always replies, "Don't waste our money on her." Agreed, of course. But I still like to imagine all the wonderful things I could give her, in a passive-aggressive way, that would say Merry Christmas you soul-sucking, happiness stealing, money grubbing, nosey twat.
Here are a list of my favorites:
1) A thesaurus and dictionary (since she spelled gnats knats in an inter-office email three times)
2) These delicious gummy bears that make you poop out things you ate in 1987 with explosive farts http://www.amazon.com/Haribo-SUGAR-Classic-Gummi-Bears/dp/B006J1FBLM/ref...
Read the reviews, you won't be disappointed.
3) Sign her up for a visit from the Church of Scientology. Those bastards never go away.
4) A gift card to the local tattoo parlor with explicit instructions to the artist, ahead of time, to misspell whatever 'ink' she gets done.
5) A beard trimmer. I think this one speaks for itself. I'm sure she has multiple places she could use it.
So what would you give to your bm, StepTalkers?
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SD8's dirty underwear that
SD8's dirty underwear that were hidden in the room at our house, we just found. That should do it for me. }:)
I want to give BM and exH a
I want to give BM and exH a plane ticket for a far away island, (of course I'd have to send it like they WON it or they might think something is up lol) and that they would get the return ticket at the island...and of course there would be no return ticket. If I thought it would work I'd take out a loan for the farthest remotest island I could find. DH just laughs and says "they're dumb hanging, but I don't think they're THAT dumb" Can't we just try?
Donkeykong is notorious for
Donkeykong is notorious for sending SS home with boxes of "crap" (ie toys SS no longer plays with, clothes that no longer fit, even pets that neither SS nor Donkeykong want to take care of anymore, etc). What I would love to do more than anything is package all this sh*t and stick it under his Christmas tree.
SS8 needs his nails cut
SS8 needs his nails cut almost every weekend. I've never seen someone's nails grow so fast. Anyway, BM has NEVER once cut his nails since I met them.
I told SO last year that we should get a jewelry box and put a pair of nail clippers in it and give it to her for Christmas. SO said she wouldn't get it. I'm sure he's right.
Boy, I don't know. I always
Boy, I don't know. I always liked the poopsenders website....otherwise, some kind of truth serum? I shred of decency? A way to make her more charitable and less greedy?? I don't know where you can get stuff like that.
Something from that web site
Something from that web site that sends poop to people!! I forgot the name of it. but I would like to send her a big bag of it. Gift wrapped nicely of course!!
A life
A life
A book on parenting.
A book on parenting.
I was going to say this but
I was going to say this but my BM can't read.
A toothbrush attached to a
A toothbrush attached to a card with some dental office numbers on it.
The toothbrush so she can brush the black nubs she does have and the card so she can take her SSDI/WElfare living off of dead beat ass to the dentist to get that damn meth mouth fixed. She doesn't even use meth.. it's just from not brushing... eeeewwwww. and she's only 25! and thinks she's hot!
I would give a gift
I would give a gift certificate for her to get an STD check since Jaba the Hut has banged every guy under the sun (and this was while being married to DH!)
Once SS7 insisted on buying
Once SS7 insisted on buying BM a bday gift; I wasn't ok with it but DH didn't want to disappoint his kid, so I went along and got SS7 to pick for his dearest mum the most horrific red lipstick with gold sparkles! Money well spent! }:)