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BM who shares nothing wants to know everything

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

Today, DH uploaded to the CO app's calendar the dates and address for our 3 day beach get away with SD when she is here, almost 5 weeks before our trip. BM responds to this thanks and can you give me the information for SD's summer camp... This coming from the woman who said SD has a tutor in September, but has yet to share any information except SD has one, but who knows if that is even true. Also, from the same woman who takes at least 3 days if not a week or two to upload any school or medical information. Still the same woman who makes sole legal decisions and informs DH weeks/months later when they have joint legal custody. 

But you're right BM, get on our case because we have not shared summer camp information 16 days before SD comes here for summer. Last summer, we did not share the summer camp information, but we did share her tutor's information and upload everything we got from the tutor each and every tutoring session. BM never asked for the information on anything for SD last summer.

DH responded back "Sure, when I get a moment and have the information in front of me. Who will be taking care of SD during your time over the summer? Can you share the informationof the tutor SD has been seeing? I haven't received any information on the tutor still."

BM responded with SD's plans for on BM's time this summer followed by "I thought I shared I'll double check in a bit."

DH and I were all to happy to use BM's excuse of later when I have the info handy. If she hasn't shared the tutor information and asks again about camp information, we are all too happy to use another BM favorite excuses "I forgot and will do it soon" or "all the information is at home and I am not home right now. When I get home, I will do it."

It is a bit petty, but we don't care when it is pulling teeth to get any information and we still don't even get all the information BM promises to provide. We have never "forgotten" or purposefully witheld information we are supposed to provide before. DH and I didn't realize that SD's camp info could fall under joint legal custody and BM did not ask last summer. In the CO it says "Neither parent shall be denied access to the academic, medical, hospital, or other health records of the minor child."


ndc's picture

Isn't summer camp essentially your childcare? Does your CO require that you provide childcare info to BM?  It's not academic or medical.  Somehow I suspect BM does not provide you with childcare/camp info. 

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

Access to records is the only thing it says about sharing. So BM doesn't send SD to camp, BUT back before SD went to kindergarten instead of sending SD to daycare (like DH did) or sending SD to preschool, BM had a sitter so the child care on her time and you're right she never provided that information. 

DH told me he will use her excuses back at her and won't provide the camp info until we get the tutor information she said she would provide six months ago

It does not say anything about camp or childcare just academic and health related. I think she's either annoyed about all the info DH has to request from her because she's doesn't openly share it OR she's nosey about how much camp is OR she wants to know camp times because she doesn't believe she will be in camp all work week

thinkthrice's picture

HCGUBM double standard

Rags's picture

These "victims" will do anything to not have their noses rubbed in reality. No matter how much she has done exactly what you are rubbign her nose in now, she will die on the hill that she is the victim and her failure to provide everything she has "forgotten", etc... is legitimate forgetting and purely innocent.

Do not stop. Keep rubbing her nose in her stench and if she keeps it up... bare her ass in court.

Protect the kid from the shallow and polluted end of their gene pool.  It is important.