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2.5 Weeks Out from SD Visit

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

So naturally, BM is trying to be extra nice and overshare information. As if DH forgets all the shennigans from the past 6 weeks between spring break and summer, plus the 7 months before that. SD who hasn't texted a word or returned a phone call since she got back to BMs 6 weeks ago, magically texted both DH and I some emojis on Saturday one time after we asked SD if she got our audio message during our video call. The message was just congratulating SD for graduating kindergarten.

Since this past Friday, BM sent a few pictures of SD from her kindergarten graduation per DH's polite request. We did not go since we weren't even sure SD would be graduating kindergarten until last minute and it was 1:00 pm on a Friday two work days before DH's last day at his old job. Then today she sent two photos from SD's last kindergarten field trip Bm has sent more photos of SD in the last 5 days then she sent in the last two years. 

Sounds like BM is on her classic game of trying to look like she communicates so well and is so easy going because she wants DH to say yes to any and all of BM's requests this summer. BM ALWAYS tries to get control when SD is here. It usually starts the day SD flies to us trying to tell us when/how often she will call SD and when/how often SD will use the cell phone she makes sure to point out that she pays for. When DH reiterates that he doesn't try to control her household and she will not control his, BM always tries to play it off that is not what she is doing. B***h please, your words are not requests or asks, it is demanding/controling language. It has never worked in 6 years, why would it work now?

Not looking forward to the drama of the phone/phone calls BM causes EVERY time. We do not have a phone schedule in place in the CO and DH/I deliberately do not/have not wanted one that we need to live our lives around. Especially with the 3 hour time difference and the limited time we see SD every year. What makes me even more frustrated with it all is knowing how it is all a show trying to make her look good.

Part of me wishes DH would say the day before SD comes "I know you have been faking nice for weeks to try and get me to agree to whatever you want with phone calls/SD's phone, but we both know I have caught on to your game. It hasn't worked in 6 years, so can we skip the drama this time and just do what we have been doing for years in scheduling it a day or two in advance? Thanks."


JRI's picture

With a 3- hour time difference, I'm assuming SD flies?  Remind me, I forgot.  How does she handle that?

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

we spent all summer last year practicing the information SD needs to answer at the airport herself. Of course, when we took SD to the airport to go back to BM's one of the questions changed, so had to ask BM to practice with SD before she came here for spring break, but now she knows it all very well!

justmakingthebest's picture

It would be so tempting to respond to her with that after her first demand. I would tell BM, once SD is in WA, that SD can call any time she asks to without restriction. BM you can call 2X a week. If we are in the middle of something when you do call, we will return your call when we are done with our activity. We have limited time and don't plan on that being monopolized by you and the phone. 

I will say, be thankful that she she at least plays nice a few times a year. BM2 never even pretended to play nice.

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

because DH was tempted to tell BM over spring break that SD could have her phone if/when she asks us for it and I cautioned DH against that because I could see BM spending the time between spring break and summer training SD to ask us for the phone. 

Rags's picture

BM is about to smack DH for $$$$$$.

Is my forecast anyway.

She is playing MOTY now so it shows well for the Judge.

If conrtolling manipulation is her game, NO! is a complete sentence and a complete conversation.  No need to point out BM's crap.... until DH can bare her ass in front of a Judge. 

Until this.... just.... NO!