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New Kitten

morrginme's picture

A friend of hours had some kittens a few months ago and I made a comment to my husband about getting one. He said "no" and I was actually relieved with his answer because he was right. We didn't need one. We have too many animals as it is and live on too small of a budget. 

Not too long after this we celebrate 4th of July. SS asks if him, his girlfriend, and their 4 yr old can spend the night so they don't have to drive back home that night. They've been at our home ever since along with their 3 dogs and 1 cat. I already have 1 dog and 2 cats. They found a new home for one dog. Still, that makes 3 dogs at our house and 3 cats. Of course their animals eat all of our pet food. It also doesn't make sense that they buy tattoos, kayak, paddle board, Bengal cat, power wheels quad, other pets, go on constant day trips and overnight trips to the coast. etc., but can't pay rent on their own place.

I'm off track though. This is about a new kitten. SD15 had been calling DH trying to talk him into a kitten. I told him it's a very bad idea and don't say I didn't warn him. He told me he had told SD he has to talk to me about it first which instantly turns me into the bad guy. Don't we have too many pets and problems as it is? Hadn't DH and I recently have a conversation about getting a new kitten? The answer was so obvious that I couldn't believe it was actually being considered. DH feel we should give her a chance, she's never had her own pet, and he will hold her accountable. I told him it's the worst idea but if I outright say no then it will cause a huge blow up.

So two days ago SD walks in with her new kitten. We are on day 2 and SD left yesterday to spend the night somewhere. I was up all night with the kitten. Turns out it's not even barely 5 weeks old. SD had kitten food but it was hard. She said it was litter box trained but it's not. She told me before she left the house to just keep the door closed and check on it every now and then. 

I'm so angry I could spit. I didn't want to take care of any more animals. I have to take care of this one because I won't see any animal suffer. Now my DD8 is attached to it and she was so happy that SD was paying attention to her and talking to her when she brought the kitten home. She told her she could kitten sit for her.  That kitten should still be with it's mother. It can't be shut up in a room by itself with hard food. I thought SD was going to be responsible for it? A kitten needs round the clock care. I'm so mad at DH and SD.


Gimlet's picture

First off, everything you said was right.  You are right.  

Pets are not "learning experiences".  They are not lessons in accountability. They are family members.  You are correct that if you have a tight budget, getting a new pet is a bad idea.  

That kitten is too young to have left her mother.  Kittens should remain with the mother until 8 weeks, but I would expect nothing less of people who don't spay/neuter their pets and then give kittens away for free at 5 weeks.  You are also correct about the care and food that kittens need.  Being shut in a room with hard adult kibble is a terrible idea.

Bless you for taking care of that helpless baby, and a kick in the balls to your H for being an idiot, and a c*nt punt to your SD for neglecting that baby.

Also, your SS and his girlfriend need to grow the F up.  A bengal??  Those cats are both expensive and high maintenance and only belong in certain families, just like smart and active dogs.  They need to stop mooching and LEAVE.  If they can afford all those other things, they can afford rent.  I feel bad for their 4 year old and even worse for you. 

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

I think a kid needs to prove themselves responsible first BEFORE getting a pet... The start with idk... A goldfish? If they can't take care of that they sure as he!! aren't going to be able to care for anything else!

morrginme's picture

I said this to DH but I just don't understand why what I say falls on deaf ears.

StepMamaBear6's picture

I would be writing a letter to your DH to let him know what has happened and asking him how he is going to fix the situation.  What a load of crapola!  I was be so pissed.

morrginme's picture

SD says she can take that kitten back to be with it's mom longer. I said no because it will just be more and more stress on the kitten. I also don't want the kitten to go back to where the owner's obviously make poor choices which they showed by giving away this young kitten in the first place.

First SD called and asked to be gone for the rest of the day helping out in an auto shop. I told her she has to get home and take care of the kitten because it's her responsibility. She then started to go off on me saying "you could have just said no" and so I hung up. Then she texts me with her condenscending attitude with a little lecture about respect and I there is no respect when I'm rude. She said I was disrespectful for hanging up on her. I texted back that if I want to hang up instead of listening to her non stop arguments, excuses, and put downs are rude then ok I'm rude. I'm alright with that. Then I told her she will not talk to me about respect or being rude because she has no idea of the concept. She got that kitten because she said she would be responsible and accountable. I told her all the needs her kitten had that she wasn't taking care of because she was gone as usual. I said if it wasn't for me her kitten wouldn't be alive so don't tell me about respect.

Then she got all nice to me. DH said recently that it amazes him that she can do a complete turn around from one extreme to another with her moods in a matter of seconds. I'm like "duh, nothing new".

How can they not see how upside down their thinking and actions are? I don't get it. 

I love dogs's picture

Hell no! I'm upset for you! Dad needs to set princess straight and she needs to apologize and THANK you for taking care of HER kitten.

Siemprematahari's picture

Instead of you cat sitting you should have left the kitten with her father but before all that SD should not have gone out because she has a "responsibility" to care for the kitten that she so desperately wanted. You and H discussed a kitten prior to SD wanting one and he said NO so why did he feel the need to bend now? He's enabling a lot of  behavior that you end up having to deal with because he doesn't know how to say NO to her.

You have to find a way to shift all the extra bullsh!t to him or you will end up being more stressed out. You already have his older son with girlfriend and 4 year old in your home and it seems like they don't know how to leave. When will they get their own place and be independent adults? Something has to give.

morrginme's picture

He should of been up with the kitten most of the night and not me. The only problem is if I tell him he has to take care it since he said she could have it and she's not here then he will take care of it by maybe checking on it every now and then if he remembers but nothing else. 

Cover1W's picture

oh, I feel for you.  That poor cat.  I would have not one hesitation if that kitten is not cared for or neglected for one more reason, take it to a shelter - hopefully you have a no-kill shelter in your area?

SD14 (when she was 10/11) wanted a kitten. NO WAY.  I put my foot down immediately with both her and DH.  She can't even brush her teeth, won't help with the two cats we already have, won't even let either cat sit in her lap, and she's "going to be responsible" for one?  NOPE.

SD12 wanted a rabbit last year.  NOPE.


Gwynnafaye's picture

I think what makes me the angriest about all of this is DH had no problem saying no to you when you mentioned a kitten, but allowed SD to have one?   No wait, I take that back - SS and family were going to stay the night and haven't left in over a month, don't contribute, uses all your pet food, and buys expensive toys??  Aww hell nawww!!   I would be going nuclear about now.  

Gimlet's picture

The average cost of a Bengal cat is $1,000.  These are not cats you see in the shelter.  They are very active cats that require a lot of interaction and training or they will upend your home.  The average cat owner is not cut out for a Bengal, any more than the average dog owner is cut out for a cattle dog/border collie.