You are here

BF and pets orrrrr stupid shit BF does to the kids

Biomomof2's picture

So, I have sole legal primary physical and BF gets 6 days a month, only 1 7 day vacation a summer. About 2 yrs ago, DD came to me and told me BF promised her a brand new bedroom set, room decorated just how she wanted it IF she moved in. Said it was really hard to not want that. I followed her therapist advice as BF had been trying really hard to buy both kids. I told her, well damn!!! If that is all it takes for you to no longer be scared (RO against BF had just been dropped against the kids, he still didn't have over nights and now, he is about to lose over nights again) for you to want to live there, let me help you pack!! I've never had that issue with the kids, BF can no longer buy them, they are not for sale to anyone anymore.
BF figured this out, and got DD then 10, now 12 a kitten. Then after promising BS a puppy, after 6 months got BS a kitten. When BF and I were married I saw him beat the crap out of our basset hound. I found him a new home the next day. I had a 6 day old DD, I didn't know what to do. Years went by, I got a dog. When he was 4 months old, BF went after him. At this point I was planning my excape. I told him if he ever laid a finger on my dog again I was going to record it, and press charges.
So back to the point, he gets DS and DD kittens. Then the stories of how BF treats their animals start. Through counseling DD told me she can't love her cat over there because BF uses that cat to control her, DS decided to convince BF to get rid of his cat. Now down to one, BF lost all control of DD over this cat AND now wants to get rid of cat. So I've been telling DD ( Maude the same offer to DS10, but BF wouldn't let him bring that cat here, heard he got the worst of the abuse) she can bring her cat here. Apparently this will happen next weekend and I get to spend the money (vet) and time to get the cat taken care of. Doing this for DD12. But, I do know what I'm going to get. Cat has never been to the vet, hides in its litter box, attacks BF, from what I've heard has worms and fleas and pees everywhere. This is going to take time to fix, but I'm glad DD gets to have her cat in a place where she is safe and the cat is finally getting out of there.

Comments

learningallthetime's picture

Wow! Poor kitty, and poor kids. Glad you are able to step in and hope the kitty learns what life can be like. I have 2 cats, and while they drive me crazy I cannot imagine hurting them!

Sweet T's picture

My ex got BS almost 8 a cat and then a couple months later got rid of it. BS was heart broken. Now I will give the a hole some credit, he took his dog after a year and managed to bad a GF who takes very good care of the dog.

kathc's picture

I hate the assholes who get animals and then do shit like that. I'm so angry reading this! That's the one thing, if ANYONE, ANYONE ever laid a finger on my dog I would lay them out. I'm not a violent person but I'd go insane on someone who hurt my dog. I know skid loves my dog but even so I watch like a hawk.

WTF...REALLY's picture

What an ass. So happy to hear you are helping these animals. Hope he doesn't get any more animals. Poor cat. Hope the recuperation goes well.

misSTEP's picture

Although I don't think that BM was an animal abuser, she DID use animals as disposable pawns in her vicious little games.

A few hours before DH picked up the skids on the weekend they ALL knew they were going to meet me, she decided to get a puppy. Of course, SD was upset and crying and wasn't in any shape to meet anyone. She also didn't/wouldn't tell us why she was so upset. We ended up taking her back to BM's house....just like BM wanted.

Then when BM decided to take the skids out of school for a month long vacation, she got rid of the poor dog because she "couldn't find anyone to watch him."

Lather, rinse, repeat. I used to make a huge point of the fact that the animals we had were FAMILY MEMBERS and with us for the duration. Not disposable possessions.

Biomomof2's picture

Honestly I think the worse thing about my divorce from him for me was I had to find a home for my german shepherds. I have the new family on Facebook and I keep tabs on them but it was HARD!!! I was in the final planning stage, and knew when I left it would be a grab and go. I WOULDNT have ever left them with him. And I was right on how it played out. It became a grab and go. Took the kids, left, took them to a friends house, came back with cops to get the kids stuff. I never could have done that with my fur babies.
Two weeks after I left, the new owners trainer called me. Both dogs HATE men. It took massive training to get that undone. And they both, 6 yrs later, don't like new men. You have to earn trust with them.
As far as the kids cats over at BFs. They have seen him choke out the cats, throw them, kick them, throw them against the wall. It is very much an threating abusive relationship. See what I do to your cat? You can be next.
DD is thrilled her BF is finally letting the cat come here. She has been trying for awhile.

kathc's picture

Just because he says he's letting it come, it hasn't happened yet. That poor cat. I hope he doesn't hurt it any more and just lets you take it,

Biomomof2's picture

I know. I told DD to " hope for the best, prepare for the worst"
I really hope he let's her bring her cat home.

Biomomof2's picture

I was 20 when I started dating him. 21 when we got married. 22 when DD was born. She was 6 mnths old when I realized who he was. He is 10 yrs older then me. I stayed for so long thinking I could at least protect my kids from him. I left when I realized 6 bad days a month for them with 24 good days, with a happy stable home was better then I was giving them. I hate that they have to go over there at all. But they have grown by leaps this last year.
Having one stable happy home with a parent that does right by the children is worth so much more then a lot of people realize. I thought I was staying for them. I have had to forgive myself for that. But I also know I would have ran had they been younger. I would have never sent them CO or not, had they been any younger.