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morrginme's picture

I'm sorry to those who wanted me to stay away from everything. My daughter has been with a friend all day. I wanted to somehow be there with my husband as a team to show them a family that can make it through problems while at the same time keep my daughter safe.

The caseworker came with the sheriff. DH and SD were planning to lie and I stressed to tell the truth because its the only way to make it through and have a chance of coming out on the other side ok. So they did and the caseworker and the sheriff said they just don't want anymore reports like this and to just walk away from each other. They asked about me and DH's relationship and he told them we occasionally we argue but it has never gotten physical which is true. SD asked if there will be any more meetings and they said no as long as they dont get any more phone calls. 

My mom had a good relationship with my dad and she told me there were incredible hard times one of them could have just walked away from each and never gone back but they didnt. As long as I feel I can keep my kids safe and stiil be there for my husband I will. I'm not saying everything will go back to the way it was. I think my husband had an eye opening moment today but that is not known for sure yet. He learns slow sometimes but he learns. 

Flame me all you want. I'm just trying to be honest and I'm operating on low brain energy at the moment. I haven't relaxed yet and when the opportunity comes and I'm alone I will probably lose it for a bit.

Like I said I'm sorry if I disappointed anyone and just the same I want to thank you for being there for me so I didn't have to go through it alone.


SteppedOut's picture

Did you tell them you recently moved out because SD's behavior is so horrible? 

shamds's picture

But i still felt you should have taken advantage of the situation then with authorities being there and said that sd behaviour was unstable, she was emotionally abusive and threatened you all physically and that you had moved out because your daughter was not safe in sd presence.

imagine if sd got aggro and physical just as cps case worker was there!! That would have been magical!

that said from now on there is no choice, the moment she is abusive and physical like punching someone or tries to hit someone, call the cops, request they remove her immediately and i’d have my phone on me at all times because when she gets physical, there will be moments leading up to her losing her shit so you should have ample time to be ready to start recording.

so if it happens again hubby has to restrain her to the ground but she came at him to punch him, this is deemed ample self defence for police. 

If hubby gets into an argument with you why cops were called, tell him off she just punched you, she is abusing this household environment and people living here and making it unsafe and you have every right to feel safe in your home.

i get that you want to support your husband but he needs to actively be trying to address these issues with sd that this shit no longer continues, that hasn’t happened.


your husband also needs to address the cps thing with his dad. His dad overreacted and pre-empted things before getting all the facts. What his dad did is enough for a child to cut off a relationship with his dad brcause he didn’t create a helpful/supportive safe environment but rather a potentially dangerous one. Imagine if your daughter was taken away because of what he did. He could justify his arse off he was doing it for the better but it would hold no weight

there are many issues needing to be addressed here. Also sd asking if cps will come over anymore, i see as her shitting herself possibly panicking because stuff got real serious but noone wanted to upset the status quo here and get these major issues out in the open.

Believe me i have threatened to walk away from hubby for far less and divorce him because he enabled and encouraged the toxic environment and disrespect of skids to continue.

there is nothing wrong with that because your spouse is not committed to you and safeguarding you but rather throwing you under a bus by ever allowing you to be in that position/situation and not actively doing anything to change things

another strpmum here posted last year that she knew her husband was afraid of the exwife and never wanted to upset the status quo and deal with more exwife drama and her banning the kids from seeing dad because she knew daddy wouldn’t go through the drama of court. So she made her husband fear her more so whatever exwife threatens exhusband with falls totally on deaf ears.

its great standing up for yourself and stabding your ground because it lets your hubby know that you will not and should not tolerate this behaviour or you’re out the door. That reality check shocks him into addressing these issues and no longer being such a weak man afraid of addressing issues with his kids because they will manipulate him by banning contact etc

SonOfABrisketMaker's picture

we arent your parents or CPS. You don’t need to report back to us and justify your actions. All we did was give you advice based on our experiences. Whatever direction your beliefs or family lead you in is your decision. 

All I’m saying is that you need to be honest with yourself about what you are doing and why you are doing it. Don’t lie to yourself about your reasons or you’re going to find yourself in a hole you can’t dig out of. 

Based on your comment of grandpa’s “careful prayer” I am assuming you are religious. I seriously hope you aren’t living with and exposing your young child to a violent home life because of something the Bible or your church says.

Livingoutloud's picture

You mentioned your child being scared when DH and SD get into volatile arguments. It causes your DD lots of emotional damage living in such household. Is DD his? If yes does he understand that he causes her damage? If not do you understand that you cause suffering to her by staying  there 

tog redux's picture

DH needs to stop slamming her to the ground if she hits him.  (I'm sorry, "restraining" her).  If she does that again, call the police and file charges.

It's your choice to stay or not stay, but SD is not the only problem here.

STaround's picture

OP said the SD went to hit DAD, which to me implies she did not actually hit.  Where I live, whoever lands the first punch is in big doo-doo.  THIS CPS case me solved.  The isssues are not.  Everyone involved needs anger managmeent. 

thinkthrice's picture

Until it happens again.   And it will   Hit the eject button!  Just sayin'