It’s just all too much. I feel like a babysitter.
Haven't been on here in a while. After my last post, I took some time with my family and actually ended up on a break with my boyfriend for about a month. We decided to try again. Majority of the issues were pretty much resolved, I just had to implement some boundaries. But here we are again. For those who don't know: Been with my boyfriend a little over a year, I relocated about 6 hours away for him, his son is 2 years old and he has 50/50 week custody.
My boyfriend finally got a good job.. to where I didn't have to pay for majority of everything like I was having to do very often. This being the case, he asked me if I could take on more with his son; picking him up from school, taking him to school, taking care of him on days he's working, etc. I agreed, and it is now draining the life out of me. Each of his weeks, it just feels like I'm a babysitter. It feels horrible. He's making good money, but I feel so isolated and like I'm in a box taking care of his son. I've been here for a year, I work from home, I don't get out much, deteriorating mental health and I have the stress of his 2 year old half the time. To me, it just makes me feel like I was molded to fill this role. I feel like I've lost my identity in it, my whole life is about doing for him and his son.
This is so much. I feel like I'm suffocating. I've voiced this to my boyfriend, and he said his grandmother can take him ONCE a week. Wasn't much, but I guess he tried? And basically tells me that I pretty much am going to have to go through this because it's just what life is going to be if I'm going to be with him. He's supportive, listens to me when I cry, gets me gifts. But I just can't help feeling this way. It just feels like I'm thrown in so fast. I don't want him to quit this job, it's great money, but I'm not doing good at all.
Fellow step parents, is this worth it? I'm 22. I'm so young, and this is so much. I love my boyfriend, but holy hell this is killing me. I feel like I can't get any help anywhere.