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Didn't take the bait (A "yay for me!" moment lol)

lil_teapot's picture

The fh and skids went away all this weekend(since Thursday afternoon actually) for a hockey finals tournament. That left me all alone!!! Footloose and skid free for 4 days!!! It was amazing to feel free.
I cleaned the house...and it stayed clean. It smelled good, and nothing got dirty or broken. It was sooo nice.
I went to spend the weekend though with my mom. She needed help cleaning their house and doing all the things she can't do and my dad is unable to do either. So it was nice getting to spend time with them and help them, even if it was alot of was a labor of love.
So, Thursday I came home from work and found ss13 at home...he wasn't able to go with his bro and dad cuz he had school and a game here. So he tells me that his beloved mother is getting her ever so cute lisa loeb wannabe hair cut over at El Skanakarita Salon down the street. In a big shocker, he asks if I would drive him there...she had expected him to walk the 5 miles "down the street" with his hockey stuff and books and bag of clothes. So I took him over there to wait for her to get her hair really shouldn't take
On the way over, he's telling me that he's mad at her cuz he wanted to go to his bro's game but she wasn't going to take him Saturday because it's a 6 hour ride and she 'didn't want to go'. So that meant he'd be stuck at their house all weekend with nothing to do at all.
Anyway, Fh texts me Thursday and Friday way more than usual. He tries to keep me in the loop on the games and missing me, etc. In therapy last week I'd said I was ready to leave, had one foot out the door and this weekend apart was kind of a way to judge whether we'd be happier alone or together. FH was being way attentive this weekend.
So Saturday, I'm doing all kinds of chores at my mom's. FH texts me to say ss12 won and boys were going to lunch or something. I knew ss13 was there too at this point. So I figured this is how it could have gone mind runs amok, you know...but I figured bm drove ss13 out there just to p*ss me off because she is the psycho variety bm who tries hard to make my life miserable at every chance because I stood up to her and yelled at her for walking into my home unannounced like 6-zillion times. So anyways, I figured she probably went to the games out of spite cuz she doesn't care much more for hockey than I do but she does get pleasure in making me I figure it was spite. And I thought surely if her old cryptkeeper bf wasn't going, she'd try to weasel her way into staying in fh's room with boyz(it's happened in the past before me from what I'm surmising). So then I really start to get worried that oh, great, then he'll go buy them all breakfast and drive over to the arena like one big happy divorced family. Yuk! Make me yak! So I was starting to get worked up and worried about bm's possible bad behaviors...but I figured just be cool and let it go...don't take the bait. I knew she was baiting me cuz the shrink caught onto that before with the no-driving-the-skids thing last week.
So anyways, I'm about to work myself up into a big panic attack, but I just say forget it. Don't take the bait. I ignore it all, send him happy messages and pretend everything is just super dandy...all the while I'm sick inside and ready to crack.
So last night when they came home, I had stuffed all my upset down deep inside and tried to hide it. I was happy, perky and just so adorable I could have made myself FH was surprised because he knows how I get about bm...I think he wasn't sure if I was going to kiss him or kill him(a common theme for us lol). But I did kiss him and pretend everything was ok. Which I'm glad for because it turns out bm drove out with the cryptkeeper and they took ss13 with them..not bm driving her kid out so she can weasel into fh's life. Plus, ss13 split and stayed with and the undead guy stayed in their room alone together. So there was no nonsense from bm. Apparently fh is having an affect on her so she doesn't act out so much anymore, plus crypty was there so she had to stay with him and not mess around in fh's life. I am liking her undead-boyfriend more and more.LOL
Anyways, I just wanted to let y'all know that I feel really good about myself for not falling into the old patterns I used to...and for not taking bm's bait and having a huge drama. It's due in large part to all the wonderful support I get from y'all on here. You are the best bunch of people anyone could ask for!!


byebye's picture


Most Evil's picture

Hey, how about that, that is great!! I confess I was worried as I read what would happen too - I am glad you kept your cool! and that DH noticed Smile

"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin

tryingtofindpeace's picture

good for you! So much of it is about power and control. The ex's love to make us miserable, we have to not give them that much power over us.
my h went away with the skids over christmas time for five days. It honestly was the best five days I have had in years... i felt so free to not have the skids home that I didn't even miss my h. which is sad I think. That was the beginning of the end for me. I am thinking of leaving.
Are you thinking of leaving still?
I'm just so sick of all the drama and always feeling like a third wheel.

BridgingTheGap's picture