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Did good at the funeral but had to fight at the wake (kinda along)

lil_teapot's picture

We had the viewing for my now-deceased MIL-to be this past Sunday. It was the first time I ever had to deal with seeing someone who’d passed and I was scared…plus worried about exbitchface and her family going. I was a nervous wreck for two days and didn’t eat.
Neither of the skids had been to a funeral before, so seeing their gram was going to be kinda hard. SS13 and I agreed to go up together and see her so we could support each other. I asked him to be there in case I freaked out and ran

The viewings turned out good. MIL looked good and there were tons of gorgeous flowers. SS13 and I went up and said our goodbyes to her when we first arrived…we figured if we didn’t do it during the private family time we wouldn’t ever do it. It was nice that he would want to do that with me…so we kind of shared a special moment that even his mom hasn’t had…ok, that sounds kinda ghoulish but I’m sure you get that we take whatever special moments we can get as stepmoms.

A lot of MIL’s friends turned out. And exbitchface showed up. I waved to her but she ignored me and went over to pay her respects and hug my fh. I wasn’t bothered in the least. His family has made me feel a part of everything from day one, and it’s only gotten better since we’ve gotten engaged. Exbitchface then took the skids in the outer area and talked to them for like 3 minutes before leaving. She was actually appropriate for once, I was shocked. I had figured her for causing a big scene or staying around like she was queen bee.

A while later her family arrived…her sisters and their husbands. They all came at me as a pack trying to overwhelm me but I was gracious, pleasant and One sister said how good the kids were with me and how much they talked about spending time with me, yadda yadda yadda. I’m not sure how sincere she was but I was gracious about it and said how much I enjoyed them. So, that was that.

Then at mass the next day, I sat with the family in the front row since fh asked me to and I did all the family stuff. The best part was when the priest had my fh and the boys and “fh’s fiancé” come up and bring the offerings forward. I didn’t know it but exbitchface was there and had to hear that and see us as a family. I hope that stung her even a little bit for all the crap she’s put me through. Anyways, mass was lovely and then we went to breakfast.

Here’s where the trouble started. Some woman who lived next to fh while he was married to exbitchface came and sat next to me. I was sitting with fh and his twenty-something year old nieces/nephews. She started in saying all this crap about exbitchface, how they were best friends, pregnant together, yadda yadda yadda. She was completely vicious saying such hurtful things and being completely dismissive and rude to me. From all the mean things she was saying it was very very clear that she was trying to hurt me. I ignored her and nibbled my breakfast while feeling sick inside. FH’s niece was completely agitated at this woman’s behavior and kept saying “OMG I can’t believe she said that?! Who is that woman anyway?!!” She was livid at how she was behaving towards me. So me and the niece went to go have a mimosa at the bar. She told me how much fh loved me and her family thought I was the greatest thing for fh and how horrible this woman is acting. She said, don’t worry our family loves you—this woman is a beast! So that was nice.

We went back to breakfast and the woman kept it up. I decided to go after her nicely and said something about how rude and ill-mannered people were here. And she got all uppity asking if I had a problem with her. I said , no of course not, we’re just fine. She tried to apologize and when I said it was ok, she went further saying my acceptance wasn’t sincere. I swear the whole convo was like a scene from the Real Housewives. When I saw that she wasn’t going to shut up or be less loud, I said, lets go to the bar and I’ll buy you a mimosa too. So she went with me into the other room where the bar is and I let her have it with both barrels. I told her that money can't buy class and she had none...among a few other choice When I verbally tore her up, she decided that I was going to be her bestest friend now. I was like, sure whatever. So I wound up missing the rest of the wake talking to this nutcase.

I told fh’s niece that we’d go have drinks when she comes back to town for easter. When we left, I told fh what had happened…he missed most of it supposedly because he thought me and bestwoman were having a convo and went to the bar. I told him call his neice or nephews and they’ll tell you exactly what she said to me and how she treated me. I told fh in a nice but firm way that I will never have anything to do with that woman ever period! So fh asks what if another couple invites us out and her and her husband are coming along with that couple…I said, then you better be ready cuz the gloves will be off! FH was a little tiny bit snorky about it because he was ‘friends’ with this chick for years…but truth be told, she and her husband knew exbitchface was cheating on fh while they were married and told them that they had to come clean or they would tell as their ‘moral obligation’.LOL What a scumbag she is! What’s sad is that fh is stupid enough to think this woman is kinda his friend, despite her having gotten the divorce-wheels in motion ending his marriage. Plus she tried to stay friends with both my fh and exbitchface while running the other down to one another. Unreal! Exbitchface’s guy hates her and wants absolutely nothing to do with her, and I agree….she’s nothing but trouble!

But, anyway, yesterday fh said that its ok we don’t have to see beastwoman ever again…he hadn’t seen her much since the divorce and we need to make our own life where we’re both happy w/the people in it. A big step forward for fh I’d say. I’m hoping our life will continue to improve and we will be able to keep working together to be happy even without fh's mom around. She was a very nice lady who treated me like family and I'll miss her too.

Thanks for all your support and encouragement...Everybody's strength is what held me up during this hard hard time and gave me the courage to face exbitchface and the beastwoman and deal with their crap while still being a lady. Y'all are the best!
Hugs, LT


October8's picture

And funny! I'm glad you were recognized atthe funeral. And this lady just souunded out of a movie.

One can only hope!

lil_teapot's picture

that's what I've heard far and near. Everyone has heard about our encounter at this point as word travels fast in this all the little circles are buzzing about what happened but the funny thing is the ultra-wealthy-bored-desperate-housewife-golddiggers like her and their husbands have supported me surprisingly. I'm not so sure about their motivations or how sincere they are, but everybody has said how wrongly she behaved and asked if she'd been drinking before showing up. Everybody has agreed that she constantly says inappropriate things and causes drama deliberately...I think from what they've said that she has a disorder of some sort...everyone has said that there's 'something wrong with her'...and it's something I recognize as being completely similar to my sister who has been diagnosed as borderline and has been in therapy, on meds, and in and out of hospitals for years.
So I think I'll be able to just label her--fairly or not--as "mentally ill" and be able to just move on accepting that knowledge and not judging her or being vicious towards her. I'll have to accept her as she is w/o judging her because maybe it turns out she is not able to understand what she is doing is wrong. Many many people have pointed out how terribly she behaves and the horrible things she says...she's aware of that fact too but doesn't change the behavior. I would if she can't or wont fix it it would mean she's ill in some way...but I"m not a doctor. I'm just going to assume she is and accept the knowledge. But that doesn't mean I want her in my life--I've got enough drama w/o her and I can't take on anymore.
I hope you're hanging in there October....stay strong!!!
Hugs and love, LT

lil_teapot's picture

I'm terrible at confrontation but no matter what that woman's problem, I wasn't going to let her ruin or bring drama to the day honoring my MIL.

CplStv's picture

I'm Glad for Y'al that was the extent of the Drama...We had to call Cops, before I Slapped A Dumb Bitch Silly...Starting Shit With My Sister at Her Father's Funeral, Is Grounds For A Pimp Slapping, in My Book. I'm VERY Protective of My Kid Sister, even if She can Whup Most Guys, without breaking a sweat...

Kids are the Best and Worst Things We can do to Ourselves. When We have nothing else worth living for, We'll go on, for Them, but Oh How We Miss Our Freedom...LOL

lil_teapot's picture

I tried hard because I was raised right. That woman showed that no matter how rich you are, money can't buy class.

That's why I've been upset, and reading other people's posts recently too...why do people target us as the villains??? Whatever causes people to break up...they break has nothing to do w/us. Nearly in all cases, we come along later, long after the dust has settled...but the ex's and their people will try to torment us...when we don't even know them! It's just unreal! Someone posted something about that we are nice, good people who wind up getting crapped on for no reason...and that really sux.

I think instead of these ex's families and friends treating us like villains, they ought to be Sainting us for taking care of skids who are often times neglected or not treated fairly by either parent. We wash clothes, kiss booboos, spend money, yet we're treated like garbage...and I for one will not tolerate it! I will demand respect from everyone in my life including the bitter twisted ex's and bm's and their inbred families!