Stepmum of a boy and a girl now grown up. I have been in their lives 21 years. When they were young we were extremely close, l was a mum in every sense including potty training they were so young. Their Mum left their Dad.  Now they are in their twenties l feel a distance. They visit and we get on great but outside of visits they only call and text their Dad, despite setting up a family chat they don't use it.  Face to face we chat away as always, l get all the news updates etc but in between nothing, while their Dad gets all the photos and in-between information.