Update: BF finally cut off BM from What'sApp and oh boy.
It's been so helpful being able to vent this out with you wonderful people. I appreciate you all.
I spoke with BF after getting your feedback in my last blog/forum post and he agreed with me that BM does not respect boundaries. He was on board for removing What'sApp messaging and texting as communication options and move to email only to keep the back and forth at a minimum, and so that she doesn't have 24/7 access to BF. He admitted that yes, maybe BM did have hold of his balls too much and was in too much control. He said he's afraid of reprocussions and afraid of not being a good dad. After a lot of reassurance, he told her what was up and cut it off today, and oh boy. She emailed and this was the gist of her barking:
"I propose you work with ME to figure out a better way to communicate. You and your girlfriend have made a unilateral decision to dictate how you will be communicating with me, without working with me to figure this out. This sense of entitlement and control will not work for me. You are often the offender in many time-sensitive situations and waiting for an email response will not work. I will take this to court if you don't strive to find a solution that will work for both of us, since you are more focused on your best interest rather than our child's best interest. I'll allow 48 hours for you to provide a response before moving forward and taking legal action. Communication is one of the biggest factors in co-parenting and I do not take your need to control every aspect of this lightly."
BF has sent so many messages about boundaries and she's always overstepping. This is the reason communication is being moved to email only. Also... I don't think she understands the definition of control. Wanting to put up a boundary and create some space is literally the opposite of control. I wonder if she'll ever see the irony in all over statements. I was really happy with his response though:
"1. Please leave [GF] out of this as it is inappropriate to bring her up. Your message is insulting to her and makes baseless assumptions. It is also disrespectful given how much she does for SS5 despite not being a biological parent. (You have acknowledged how much she does for him in the past.) Please leave her out of this.
2. There is no court order dictating how we communicate. You are not entitled to my attention 24/7 as what's app allows. If I'm not comfortable with WhatsApp for whatever reason, that's my decision. Email is a perfectly acceptable solution to communicate and arguably, much easier for organizing different issues requiring communication as they relate to SS5. There is no court order violation by informing you I will only be responding to Emails instead of WhatsApp messages. Check the decree.
3. If youd like to propose an alternative communication to email, I'm open to your suggestions. I may be open to OFW, although we both agreed the funding was an issue."
That's what i'm TALKING ABOUT. Although, I don't really like the idea of OFW because it's still a messaging app. When they used it in the past before WhatsApp the back and forth was still just as bad. Is there a way to manage the volume on OFW?
Anyway. I'll take the win to start the weekend off. I hope it continues from here.