It's been a while since I've been on here. I hope you're all doing well
My family was the type to share belongings, but also being respectful by asking for permission, taking care of it, and making sure to put it back where it belongs. Since I moved to this island to be with my SO, I found out he is quite entitled to my things (and in general). I feel like there are certain things that are assumed you always share when you're a couple living together and don't need to ask every time, such as if I bought our pots and pans, or if his parents purchased the bed we sleep on, we don't expect permission.
So it's pretty normal for kids to spend a period of time, usually two weeks, with each parent during the summer. This was agreed on back when my BF and BM finalized their CO. They planned each of their two weeks back-to-back, knowing we may not travel.
I used to have an abusive step mom from when I was 15 - 20. I'm pretty sure she had a personality disorder because she just psychologically terrorized me and my younger sister. When she was around, my heart would race, I would sweat, my adrenaline would pump.... it was such an unpredictable, toxic environment to be forced in. After my dad divorced her I was in such an elated state of happiness, I swore I would never be around anyone like that ever again. Now, I get the same feeling any time anything comes up about BM. I feel like I'm in that same place all over again.
I've generally gotten along with and bonded pretty closely with SS5. I've known him since he was 2 and he's almost 6.There's always been moments of when I felt annoyed but I would say something and he would cut it out. And it never affected our relationshp. But recently.... I've been so irritable and short he's beginning to distance himself from me. It kind of stings... but then it also fuels my annoyance.
BF and I have secure jobs and BM's could wind up being laid off because of all the social distancing. As she had SS5, BF and I offered to help watch SS5 to help her focus on work to help with her job security. I guess we were feeling super nice that day because she's horrible. But whatever.
Sometimes I feel like my life is a movie because some of this stuff is just unbelievable. This feels like it's never ending.
I am livid. I don't even know where to start. I'm sorry in advance for all the emotion.
First: BM has now escalated her reaction over BF wanting to move to email only or OFW. She let him know he needs to pay for her subscription until SS5 is 18, wants to take him to parent counseling twice a week (which she can demand based on the CO), and have an evaluator step in, implying she wants him to be afraid he might have reduced custody.
God I can't stand BM. I am so good to her kid. SO. GOOD. To her kid. I enjoy being in his life and helping BF take care of him. And he loves me. I've never done anything negative to her, ever. Even though she's emailed me at WORK with passive aggressive statements, I was still very polite and said I want to stay out of her and BF's dialogue. She constantly belittles BF and nags him to parent in very specfiic ways. She's so easily set off with abusive language and threats and crossing boundaries that I told BF we need to pull back on how much we interact with her.
It's been so helpful being able to vent this out with you wonderful people. I appreciate you all.