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Kona_California's Blog

Looking for thoughts on "sharing" things

Kona_California's picture

My family was the type to share belongings, but also being respectful by asking for permission, taking care of it, and making sure to put it back where it belongs. Since I moved to this island to be with my SO, I found out he is quite entitled to my things (and in general). I feel like there are certain things that are assumed you always share when you're a couple living together and don't need to ask every time, such as if I bought our pots and pans, or if his parents purchased the bed we sleep on, we don't expect permission.

I think I have PTSD from BM.

Kona_California's picture

I used to have an abusive step mom from when I was 15 - 20. I'm pretty sure she had a personality disorder because she just psychologically terrorized me and my younger sister. When she was around, my heart would race, I would sweat, my adrenaline would pump.... it was such an unpredictable, toxic environment to be forced in. After my dad divorced her I was in such an elated state of happiness, I swore I would never be around anyone like that ever again. Now, I get the same feeling any time anything comes up about BM. I feel like I'm in that same place all over again.

BM using SS5 to subtly F with me and it's making me feel crazy.

Kona_California's picture

I've generally gotten along with and bonded pretty closely with SS5. I've known him since he was 2 and he's almost 6.There's always been moments of when I felt annoyed but I would say something and he would cut it out. And it never affected our relationshp. But recently.... I've been so irritable and short he's beginning to distance himself from me. It kind of stings... but then it also fuels my annoyance.

I'm thiiiiiis close to going off on BM. Can't believe this new low

Kona_California's picture

I am livid. I don't even know where to start. I'm sorry in advance for all the emotion.

First: BM has now escalated her reaction over BF wanting to move to email only or OFW. She let him know he needs to pay for her subscription until SS5 is 18, wants to take him to parent counseling twice a week (which she can demand based on the CO), and have an evaluator step in, implying she wants him to be afraid he might have reduced custody. 

First event for SS5 with BM. She has to look like a fool

Kona_California's picture

God I can't stand BM. I am so good to her kid. SO. GOOD. To her kid. I enjoy being in his life and helping BF take care of him. And he loves me. I've never done anything negative to her, ever. Even though she's emailed me at WORK with passive aggressive statements, I was still very polite and said I want to stay out of her and BF's dialogue. She constantly belittles BF and nags him to parent in very specfiic ways. She's so easily set off with abusive language and threats and crossing boundaries that I told BF we need to pull back on how much we interact with her.