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BM high conflict and looking for a fight

AmIWicked's picture

Another holiday, another catastrophic breakdown.

Why is it always holidays, birthdays, and the like that this high conflict BM looks for a fight?

No matter how much my husband steps back, uses the Our Family Wizard website (as court ordered for all communication), sets boundaries...
she finds ways to pinky toe over them or loop holes to jump right through.

Why can't she just be happy on her own?

And why am I the center of her arguments?

Her last message:

"If you have any concerns about any of our children while under my supervision I suggest that you call me. I am not going to be accused of anything by someone such as your wife who control your OFW account and sends most messages. I ask you to please discuss with your wife the lack of respect that she shows me by making unfounded accusations."

Want to know what my husband sent to her first?
"SD email is used by OFW as her log in email. Legally we both are to have access to it. Your phone number and my email for her security recovery. Twice in the last week, when SD was with you, my email has been removed and yours was put in place. This can't continue to happen as it breaks the court order. Please explain this to SD."

So, how did I accuse BM, of anything???

onthefence2's picture

It sounds like BM's response was not in regards to the message. My guess would be the SD said something, probably playing both sides, and she is telling her things that are happening (or making them up) while with Dad.

AmIWicked's picture

We asked SD about it and SD looked truly oblivious that anything was going on.

This makes us think it is just more of BM being high conflict, wanting to cause drama, picking fights with me, and holiday crap she always does....

Rags's picture

What fun I would have with that toxic waste of skin. }:) I can think of all kinds of ways to play her, wrile her up, bare her toxic ass, etc....

What fun.

AmIWicked's picture

The skids are teenagers but communication on OFW is court ordered BECAUSE crap like this happens.
She is high conflict and looks for fights.
The judge ordered it years ago.
It makes all communication written, documented, time stamped as when read or left unread.
It is recommended by courts for high conflict divorces with children involved.
No more he said she said situations.

sakurachan's picture

Why get involved at all with the BM, let your husband do it and then you don't have to worry. You just keep excelling at what your good at with regards to your relationship with your hubby and step kids and let him deal with her drama. You will feel so much more at peace unless you like the drama and have to be in control.

My husband will tell me things his ex says and we talk about it but I don't get involved other than making sure hubby and I are on the same page before he responds to her. It's so much nicer, you should try it if you are finally so tired of step Mom's crap.

AmIWicked's picture

I am not involved. That's the point. BM keeps trying to pull my in with messages like this.
She wants to engage me. Wants to fight. I don't. I keep a distance a remind my husband to not fight with her.
In fact,, since I came along, my husband has said HIS fights with her have gone down.
Especially after OUR FAMILY WIZARD was ordered by the courts, fights are limited to these random accusations or piddling crap.
But I am not involved. BM just tries to bring me into it.