Not handling this two week summer thing very well
So it's pretty normal for kids to spend a period of time, usually two weeks, with each parent during the summer. This was agreed on back when my BF and BM finalized their CO. They planned each of their two weeks back-to-back, knowing we may not travel.
My BF is terrible at keeping track of his calendar so I never know what's coming around the corner every day with him. He went to a hand-off a couple weeks ago, BM said "So this is the last time you'll see him for two weeks. Unless you want to forget it and stick with regular time-sharing. Let me know." Their normal time sharing is 50/50 2-2-3 and I f#@king hate it. When BF came home, he told me this and I said no, I would really rather we stay with the plan. I've been looking forward to having two weeks of adult time and these last-minute scheduleling surprises are exhausting. He wouldn't take no for an answer, and it turned into an arguement. He said HE didn't want to go that long without seeing SS6. That he didn't think it was in SS6's best interest (ummm what??). He was throwing low blows, saying "it's MY son and I'm allowed to have a relationship with him" and other statements implying I'm trying to block him from seeing him or am generally unsupportive. I said HELLO you planned this!! And I've ALWAYS been supportive of him having his son. I've embraced him completely so comments like that feel like a slap in the face.
After arguing about it off and on for two-three days, he decided to cave and do the two weeks but take SS6 on the two days during the week I go in to my office and am not home, only during the work day and not overnight. Fine. This week was supposed to be the second week child-free, with my birthday this weekend. BM sent an email Monday night to BF, two days ago, and says "long story short I think I have shingles. Can you take SS6" and it wasn't even a discussion. BF said he was going to take him and I was so angry. I said how long?? I had to wait another day to find out how long she felt like dumping her kid on us. Until Thursday at 5:00pm. I felt defeated. Like I didn't matter.
I'm so angry. I don't often feel recognized, prioritized or important in this dynamic. So much of what BM wants BM gets. I have to make such a huge stink to have a voice. My friend who has two grown kids of her own commented that BM should not be handing off her kid every time she feels it's inconvenient to her. She said part of being a mother is you have them no matter what. Why should the kid be taught he should only be around people who can be "on" and entertain him 24/7?? And if you're really incompacitated, why go crying to my BF every time? I feel like this very significant two week time was immediately hijacked because BM didn't feel like having her son for two weeks.
It would be nice to have insight on any similar situations or thoughts on all this.