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Our family Wizard question

Biostep7777's picture
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HCBM refuses to communicate in OFW. She keeps emailing and texting DH. He wants all of that communication to be in OFW. So, what's the best way to do that? Should he email it all in one message to our attorney (who has access) should he put it in the notes and keep it private? What would you do if you want to show all correspondence in OFW but she won't use it?? 

ESMOD's picture

Has she been ordered to use it.. not it is a "means of communication".. but has it been mandated that it is the only means?

Otherwise.. she doesn't have to do what he wants.. 

 

skell76's picture

If I remember correctly HCBM only agreed to communicate that way right? If that's the case I would continue to use it as communication to her with the "per our agreement" and copy her message in your message to her.  However we all know she's not going to do it unless absolutely ordered.  

HCBM here is ordered to communicate through it - texting /calls are emergency only and it's also ordered she has to respond within 24 hours.  Prior communications she would demand DH answer but she would never reply to his requests. 

Biostep7777's picture

That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying FOR HOS PURPOSES. He wants all corespondence in OFW to keep track for himself and to have it in one spot for the Attorney’s to see. Asking what is the best way he can simply store it all in OFW. Not trying to make her do anything 

skell76's picture

I misunderstood. If he asked for OFW and that's what he wants he should be using it IMO. 

Biostep7777's picture

She agreed to it but now stating she won't use it for communication. Only for reimbursement. <eyeroll> 

tog redux's picture

What does the attorney suggest? You've asked this before, and we all suggest that he should reply to her in OFW and not via text, stating that she has agreed to do that. 

Biostep7777's picture

They told him to answer her in whichever way she contacted him until it's resolved. I'm not asking how to get her to agree to OFW. I'm asking the best way to basically copy/paste texts and emails and where should he store it. Like email the attorney, store it in notes. He is new to OFW so asking some of the experts out there. Surely we are not the only ones with a HCBM that won't  communicate through OFW. He just wants it all in one spot for reference purposes/legal purposes so the attorney has access instead of emailing her a thousand emails. Does that make sense? 

ESMOD's picture

for what it's worth a secondary copy of what you are suggesting he do would likely have her claim that he manipulated the information.

He needs to maintain the information in the form he gets it.. IMHO.

 

Biostep7777's picture

Oh he will for sure!!! Like I said, I think he's going to copy and paste but you are right, it might be better to just screen shot but keep original correspondence if she claims he manipulated it. (Which of course he would never ever do) 

CastleJJ's picture

Ultimately, your SO needs to set the boundary that he is ONLY communicating via OFW. Especially, after they agreed to it. By continuing to respond to BM via text or email, it doesn't look very good and can make it seem like he cannot stick to an agreement either. 

If he gets a text or email, he can store it in OFW, but he needs to not respond to those via text or email. He needs to message BM on OFW and he needs to say: "Per our agreement on x date, I will only be communicating via OFW. Communication not sent through OFW will be documented for record keeping purposes, but will not be responded to." 

Eventually, this will force her to use OFW if she needs a response, but him going back and forth is giving her what she wants. 

CajunMom's picture

I'm with the attorney. Since it's clear OFW is not court mandated...it's somethng your DH wants to use...then he will have to keep multiple "files" for all this stuff. He can copy/paste and respond within his OFW but if she isn't using it, she won't see it. I'm assuming this is why your attorney said to reply back with the same communication type. When she emails, make a folder for just those and move to the folder immediately so they aren't lost or accidentally deleted. Make sure to keep a running, paper copy of text messages. When you get a new phone (or your phone dies), those messages are gone forever. We are Apple people so we can get our texts to come through multiple divices. Not sure in Android does that. Just make sure to have a hard copy of all texts.

And that's about all I have. Unless your attorney can get a judge to mandate OFW, it's just a tool for your DH. Good luck.

Biostep7777's picture

Yes that was my question. We are new to OFW so just wondering the best way to store these emails within OFW. 

Maxwell09's picture

If she keeps contacting him in other ways then he can screenshot the texts conversation showing date and time and upload them to the Journal or he can upload them to the MyFiles. We upload screenshots, pictures and videos to the Journal and keep it private unless we want her to see us posting the conflict because you can update it and edit it. It documents every edit so it's helpful. 

Biostep7777's picture

Perfect!! This is exactly what I was asking for. Thank you!! One question on this. Can he share with just his attorney and not BM? Or is it simply private or not private? Thank you. 

Rags's picture

Do not reply to any communication other than via OFW other than to say, "I will not read or respond to any communication from you other than through OFW."

 

Biostep7777's picture

We are getting there!! The attorneys are trying to get her to cut the crap but she won't budge. Lol. Well the judge will no doubt order it especially since she agreed. Lol