Burnout
I was watching a youtube video about stress/burnout from a therapist and related to it in multiple ways - one of which was when it comes to step parenting. It talked about how burnout is when the effort put into something isnt commensurate with the reward. If that doesnt describe stepparenting idk what does. I've had the thought cross my mind before that I'm just burnt out on dealing with SD and the situations surrounding her, but the video really validated that that is what I'm feeling. I just dont want to deal with her, and BM and the inlaws and DH in relation to her. Even being disengaged and ignoring things and the logistics of that requires effort because they're all so f'ing needy and attention seeking and me me me all the time (BM, SD, SIL and MIL).
Too bad theres no videos specific to dealing with burnout on dealing with relatives. At least not that I could find.
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Comments
For sure it's easy to burnout
For sure it's easy to burnout as a step parent, even a disengaged one. I felt that for years I was only just keeping my head above water from the constant dramas with NPD BM and the SDs. There was just no breathing space when I could get my feathers smooth again, not for years and years - well over 10 in fact. It helps that I am now a LOT better at enforcing boundaries and asserting that I have a right to take up space and a right to have my own needs met, not just theirs. I am no contact with my awful MIL, and have been for 2 yrs.
I would look up burn out for care givers
its similar your/our situations. Care givers suffer significantly from burn out and that is why they offer respite care for them. My sister and her partner are foster parents for abused children. They get respite care for their foster son at least once a month to avoid burnout.
Positively agree
Ive felt thst burnout so intensely during steplife. The whole scenario is perfect for it. However, i do think some people trigger it more than others. OSS, while not a perfect human, is/was a low maintenance, easy to get along with, kind person. Even when he had to move back with us as an adult for a few years due to depression, i didnt have that burnout feeling. SD, on the other hand, has always been high maintenance, dramatic and troublesome. So her times of living here were hell. It's taken years to get over it. Yes, step parent burnout is very real
I've been burned out for
I've been burned out for probably 2 years at least. I'm constantly anxious and miserable.
nothing is easy....I live day to day and try not to think about the future much.
I don't see any cure.....
I feel the exact same way as
I feel the exact same way as you. I am so tired of dealing with SD9 and all of the drama and bullsh*t that she comes with (her personality disorder, behavioral issues, the crazy people that she is related to, and more). I am completely burnt out after six years and she only gets worse as she gets older, so the feeling only intensifies. As you already know, you are not alone!