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Visitation Vent

Ginger_SM's picture

So, here we are a week from scheduled visitation and still no agreement reached. 

It is frustrating because we feel like our attorney isn't notifying us when they receive correspondence. We are having to reach out every time, which who knows how much this has delayed the process. 

Then my MIL was talking to OSD and apparently BM has already told them the whole plan without discussing any dates with us. Then apparently even though we are responsible for booking the returning flight, we are giving the girls to her family and accomadating that after our visit. Mind you we have already purchased the tickets by the CO because of the situation.  

So, I text BM to make her aware of the dates within the CO. Of course she manipulates it to work for her. Then because I am not saying something that works for her she requests to only speak to DH. Funny because she talked to me about the visitation previously and I said it would be best to wait for an agreement because she was wanting to alter from CO. This was all in a group text anyways too.

We ended up just booking the flights because we didn't want to book the tickets a week before with Holiday ticket pricing and a really good deal popped up for the day needed. 

I guess the good thing is my husband immediately responded with we are team and it is concerning both of us. And honestly I texted intially because confrontation was expected and he currently has an ulcer from this BS stress already.  


twoviewpoints's picture

Lots of frustration, for sure.

I'm not sure why all the negotiation was necessary in the first place. If date and place are currently stated per CO. I did read your last blog when posted, about BM wanting a different day and different airport, but unless willing to make exception to suit her, I don't understand how the travel plans were turned into all this uncertainty. 

One place in this, however, that BM is correct. She does not have to communicate with you (SM).  Doesn't matter DH and you view each other as a team, he nor you can force her to co-parent/communicate with you. You simply aren't the other parent in this nor the person named in the CO. 

Hopefully all this gets settled and DH, you and the children have a great holiday together.  I'm sure the kids are excited to see Dad and you. 

justmakingthebest's picture

I just want to make sure I understand- You purchased plane tickets based on the current CO. BM is trying to change things with that? 

I really want to know  how this plays out for you! I am so scared to buy plane tickets right now. I just know that BM will ignore the current order and just not take SS to the airport. Yes, she will be in contempt and even probably ordered to reimburse us for the tickets-- but she is a welfare case, so when is that going to happen? Never! 

Ginger_SM's picture

Oh I know she is in no way obligated to talk to me. I just find it funny she is all okay with talking to me about it until I say some unsatisfactory to her. And she has not once tried to attempt to talk about dates with my husband.  She thinks she can just tell us how it is going to work so her family gets time and we get what's left over. 

We are having issues because she is blowing one situation out of proportion, so she thinks extra measures need to be in place to ensure the girls safety. Even though their safety was never at risk. 

Ginger_SM's picture

Yeah, we were on edge about buying tickets. The attorney said if she send them there is no guarantee we would be reimbursed. At least we can say we did our part and that's kind of what we tried to focus on.