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Still can't read but some progress.

GamingBuddy's picture

I'm supposed to have a late day at work today so I get to sleep in and relaxed. Everything's supposed to be nice and smooth. Oh so happy happy but nooooooo.

My morning started with BM coming out of nowhere claiming HER order gives her this weekend.

Oh what fun. When my partner and his ex were divorcing there was a back and forth of visitation schedules that were filed with the court all lead by BM and her lawyer. SO (dad) was given Schedule A at the start then a month later provided a newer version of the counties standard order we'll call Schedule B. Months later it caused a major fight because the Schedule B had additional time on minor holidays. BM was LIVID that he was enforcing that and claimed it was misfiled and they needed to follow the first one Schedule A

So when the order was being finalized BM's lawyer sends another copy with all the final agreements for SO to sign and it contains Schedule A which he signs, sends back, she signs, presents to court, and the judge signs and its filed in their case. Schedule A is an older standard visit order for their county and was what was filed.

Well a few times over the years the newer standard visit Schedule B SEEMS to give BM something special and she tries to claim he has to follow it. In that exact moment he refuses and says no they will follow the order filed through the court but if she sends the copy of the order she wants to use then he'll follow it in the future but she refuses to send it and we don't have it. We have been through this so many times. Her only trying to use it when it helps her and ignoring it the more than a few times a year it would help SO. Since its only minor holidays extra that we don't really care about its not worth a fight.

So cue this morning when BM tries claiming HER order (Schedule Dirol gives her this holiday weekend. She claims she wants to follow it and she knows it helps him so will he just agree. SO tells her to send the order because we already know it works in his favor and she does. We finally get to see the order in full she wants to follow and in black and white it clearly states that labor day is my partners every even year.

And for the first time ever BM ADMITTED she was wrong. She read the order wrong and he was 100% right.

This is ending with SO waiting to find out exactly what mattered so much about this time because never in the past has he denied giving her a few hours for some special family event if we weren't already busy becuase in the end it's about the kids. Spending time at a family barbaque with aunts from another state is more important than just hanging out at dad's place like they will be doing the rest of the time because again we have bigger plans later this month.


justmakingthebest's picture

Wouldn't it be amazing if she could just honestly communicate when family things arise? I think MOST decent parents would say "Oh, you have family coming in from out of state to visit? Of course we can rework the weekend/day/ whatever to let the kids see their family!"

GamingBuddy's picture

And that's part of the issue. She knows she doesn't do that so she thinks he won't. There has really only been one time he's said no and it was because she waited till the last minute and demanded to have them on a holiday for a wedding. Had she asked even a week before he'd have said yes because we don't want them to miss out. Countless times he's given up 2 or 3 hours because it was what was best for them. 2 or 3 hours of sitting with dad at home or 2 or 3 hours with family they may see once a year..... Miss out in trips to amusement park when steps work rents out the park or go grocery shopping with us.... He doesn't give up just because but if she gives warning and it's a valid cause than sure.