How do you “Accept” the reality?
I have heard over an over lately that "accepting the reality" regarding who my SS12 is and his condition will make my life easier. I have a hard time understanding this concept of "accepting."
My SS12 is high-functioning Austistic. Because of the pandemic we are stuck at home with him 24/7 and it's been taking a toll on both DH and I. Our doors are constantly left unlocked (this is after telling him many times he can't do this because there were home invasions nearby very recently). My fairly new car was scratched by SS (many times) when it's PARKED INSIDE THE GARAGE. His arguing is just a daily occurrence. Once in a while we will also have to listen to his "genius theories about atom and particles." Mind you, he doesn't really understand how things work, he just thought he does. His monologues are probably not the worst part, and I can actaully just tune out and keep my mouth shut. There's no way to escape his voice because he's just loud. You can hear him no matter which room you are at in the house.
So the reality that I will have to accept seems to be this:
- SS12 is forever a selfish a-hole because his needs are always more important than everyone else's.
- Better not to own expensive and nice things because they can break when SS has the "Need" to exam and fidget them
- Get ready to be put in danger because a family member won't lock the door
- He might never launch - and we might have to have him forever?
I might fail to see any positivives because it's been really frustrating the past few years living with this kid. But seriously the reality is so sad I'm having a hard time accepting it.
My biggest fear is to be stuck with this selfish prick forever. I don't like to pay for his anything. I don't like to hear his voice, and I don't like to see his face. At the same time I also don't know if this will ever end. I don't think things will fix itself when he turns 18. I also don't think kicking him out at 18 will actually happen.