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Agreement and preparing for contempt.

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

SO met with the lawyer yesterday and hopefully sent BM a final settlement offer. He’s very happy with the outcome over all. He’s also prepared to file for contempt as soon as she starts screwing around since he was informed that if she’s found in contempt she will have to pay the lawyer fee. So why might he already expect he will be filing for contempt.

One thing is the combined debt. He had offered a way for her to end up paying less and she tried denying one of the martial debts so now she is going to be responsible for half of both the debts. On top of that his lawyer has placed a time limit for both parties to pay their half. So if she doesn’t pay by the deadline SO has recourse in the form of contempt. He did ensure that he will be able to cover his half. On top of that it is entered in that if either party does cover the entire amount they simply have to send proof and the other party MUST reimburse them. So if she doesn’t pay he can then do so AND still be allowed to sue her for the cost as well as her being in contempt of the order.

The other is that she is now demanding she be responsible for her half of the visitation transportation. Back when they first started this SHE offered to have him take care of all transportation and she would accept a slight reduction in CS to cover it. Remember she works extended shifts on the weekend and reported that is why she was unable to handle the return trip as is her responsibility. Now she has decided she wants to keep the money. Ok he really can’t fight her BUT what he can do is if no one shows up she’s in contempt ONTOP of it he will keep the kids. If they don’t make it to school on time it’s her fault for the pickup not being completed. So the school issues are on her also. He can show that when he was responsible there were no issues but when she took it over suddenly there were.

Now why is she so sure she’s going to fail on pick up? Because part of it is he feels this is her trying to play games. No one will show up then she’ll expect him to return them. So she’s not going to like he says no. She’s claiming her mom will handle all the pickups because she can’t. Yeah you’d have to know the women to know why that is a joke. Also if she herself does ever show up at midnight which is the earliest she can pick them up he will be keeping documentation of that. We'll see what happens this weekend since it will be the first time she is responsible EVER when it comes to handling transportation for visitation.

So baring any more petty crap the paperwork is ready to be filed. We are waiting to hear what the date will be so we can set up a divorce party. Then we can start moving on knowing that WHEN she starts up crap he has recourse.

I will also point out that the lawyer we've been working at has been amazing when it comes to his fees and such. He understands that this is not the end of things for SO. He is prepared to go back to court.


Maxwell09's picture

You're putting a lot of faith in the consequences of being held in contempt. Most BM's just get a slap on the hand when they get caught in contempt. That's a 30-40$ charge everytime you file here. And a judge will get tired of petty contempt charges. I'm not trying to burst your bubble but I don't want you to think Contempt is the End All, Be All that will put her right. That rarely happens.

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

The idea isn’t to depend on contempt. It’s to build a trail that show she refuses to co-parent and is not the better parent if not directly causing harm to the children be it through missed school or poor parenting.

Honestly we expect to get the children when the oldest one requests to come live with us because she gets tired of mom’s neglect / instability. The youngest we will get when his behavior becomes so out of control that it’s clear she can't control him or he has become physically aggressive towards her. As it is the next time he becomes aggressive with us or has bathroom issues we intend to start the down the path of getting therapy ordered for him since she refuses to see why the children might need it now.

She has shown multiple times she does not put the children’s interest first and intends to use them to harm him sometimes at the wellbeing of the children. She is someone who hands of the children every other second when she gets board of playing mom. She doesn’t know how to be a parent and refuses to learn. She has a history of being physically abusive. She will screw up. He just wants to try and get them before it causes too much damage.

Thumper's picture


I strongly strongly suggest you and your boyfriend find a way to watch--
the movie, DIVORCE CORP and take what you see in that movie very seriously.

You can watch the FULL version on youtube. For some reason I believe it is on Net Flex too.

Contempt charges in Family Court....HAHHAHAHAHAAH as harsh as that looks to read it is Rare very rare contempt charges are sanctioned.