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The visit with the lawyer went great!

msg1986's picture

So we went to the lawyer yesterday and she was amazing! She was very honest and said that his case would be easy considering all he's asking for is what's he's been doing already for the past 6 years. She was thrilled Dh isn't in arrears, has Ss every weekend and that he's covering him on insurance. She advised that Dh should abe picking Ss up from Bm and Bm should be picking Ss up on Sunday from our house. She advised that Dh will of course get to keep his everyweekend and that it's a great sched because he still sees his son every week but he doesn't have to be harrassed from Bm about school stuff. She advised that CS is for school supplies and Bm should not be asking Dh for anything more. she advised that Dh should get 2 wks in june and 2 wks in july. She advised that in NM that Bm is responsible for the first 100 that insurance doesn't pay and then it's 1/2 and 1/2 once BM shows proof she's paid. She said that Dh should be claiming Ss every other year for taxes but that in NM if the Bm isn't working that the judges usually strip the right of the custodial parent to file because there is no reason if they don't work. She said that Bm can strongly contest to providing transportation and if she does that CS would be cut in half while Dh continued to do all transportation. She said holidays are split by year-no "I get xmas eve, you get xmas day when I feel like letting him out of the house." She said that written communication can be ordered and the judge would not order communication by phone." It was all very good and nothing that seemed unbelievable. Dh got teary eyed in her office because he couldn't believe that there is finally a light at the end of the tunnel. He actually cried a little when we left the office because he says he can't believe there is finally going to be an end to all the problems. A good thing too is the attorney advised that in NM if the custodial is in contempt that the judge will at first scold, then put in jail and then the final straw would to be strip custody. I'm so so so happy with everything. We're going to look at the paperwork but we're pretty sure we're going to retain. She's been practicing 20 years and she advised us we could go to mediation if we wanted first and if Bm fought back we could then retain her but what she usually sees is Bm will start to be more compliant when you have a lawyer because they get scared. Yesterday was a good day. I think it helped Dh not answer the phone to Bm and feed into the drama because the lawyer advised him exactly what his rights are and that he's been doing amazing. Smile I cannot tell you guys how happy we are right now. It will be SO nice to put Bm in her place. She thinks she is like the freaking almighty ruler of Oz and the look on her face when things change will be priceless.

Comments

msg1986's picture

Yeah, she seems worth the money. The last time Bm and Dh got together to fill out their parenting plan Bm wouldn't let Dh have the papers back and put whatever she wanted in it. I was so mad at Dh that he let her railroad him like that. Thankfully bm refused to go to get it notarized so it was never turned in, Thank God!!! It's been a very stressful past few days so this news was great. Smile

msg1986's picture

Yeah, she seems to know her stuff very well. It was amazing. At one point she was asked how long we'd been together and when I answered she said "... hmm and lemme guess, when you came around Bm started to get really unreasonalbe?" it was insane. It's surreal how we all have the same story.

thinkthrice's picture

EXACTLY!! I don't get it! These guys will bend over backwards for the BM just so they don't have to go back to court again. ARRGHH!!

But anyways good step in the right direction!!

msg1986's picture

ooooh yeah he realizes that there will still be issues in the future but he's happy that he will finally have a CO to push back instead of always cowering because he's afraid of her withholding his son. I told him to expect her to go against the CO for a while but that we just have to be prepaired to take her back to court when she does. This will just help lessen the power she has.

msg1986's picture

Oh yeah, I'm expecting for the first 6 mo's-to year for things to get pretty bad because bm will be so angry but once dh has his rights on paper he won't be afraid of Bm anymore. He'll finally be able to put her feet to the fire and have a leg to stand on.

WTF...REALLY's picture

Every thing your lawyer said is correct. He does have all those rights! Congratulations.....this is a great step.

BM is in for a ride awakening...lol...her face is going to drop. Awesome. She deserves it for being such a greedy parent with the childs time.

msg1986's picture

That's we were thinking, it's all standard. It's not like Dh is asking to get sole custody with supervised vistation or something. lol. I would LOVE to see her face when it changes. She's got herself into this pickle though, We let go of idea ever claiming Ss on taxes because let's face it, we don't ever get refunds anyway because we make too much, the holidays were always treated as "if we see Ss great, if not we'll live" because the drama was too much of a headache, all dh wanted was for Bm to meet him halfway for transportation-that's it. She's made her bed and she'll have to lay in it and Dh will not hesistate to take her to court for contempt.