So I said briefly in my last blog about how BM was threatening to withhold the children.
“Well since you can’t take her I guess they can just stay here”- Her exact words in response to SO saying we couldn’t drive back tomorrow (Saturday) so the oldest to could get to a birthday party we were just told about and hadn’t agreed to take her too.
Slight recap. SO and I managed to get the DD214 from the National Archives. Problem is it’s incorrect. It shows he was only in for 2 months, left honorably, and the E3 level. The dates listed are in the middle of the time he served and he also had an old military idea that was issued AFTER the date the form claims he left.
He got copies to the VSO but between work and everything getting an actual sit down with her is next to impossible.
He did get advice from the VA ER to contact his last base and did but nothing has come back from them yet.
I’ve said before I work in mental health. I spend day in day out helping others deal with whatever crap they have to. I do this because I honestly love my job but of course it can had a negative impact on you. On top of this I had a DNA / environmental soup growing up that wasn’t exactly perfect.
Here’s the thing that really bothers me. I work in a hospital, in a mental health ward, and I have company provided insurance. Guess what I can’t do…. That’s right I can’t even access the same care my patients get.
Last night SO and I took the kids to see the Christmas lights. While we were there we saw Santa. Of course the little one who's in kindergarten was really excited. He asked for something pretty simple. The oldest however is a little bit different. Of course she's in third grade and pretty smart so she may already know the truth. Anyways she she didn't ask for a toy or anything like that. She wants “a happy family for Christmas”.
We have an odd peace between our home and BM. Basically she’s up a creek and either she plays nice or she has to actually be a parent and heaven forbid take care of the kids herself. She’s using us but we know and this co-parenting situation is built on a land mine that will one day explode but till then we’ll enjoy what we have.
His promotion got denied because they got approval for a 3rd position for the better slot he interview for. He got promoted to it instead. They are waiting for his background check to come and they have to see if the company will accept it since he’s gotten a higher position that may require a higher clearance though honestly I don’t see why. I mean this one should cover any criminal background that they would be worried about. He’s going to get a better raise then the one before and his hours are going to be even more set to “normal” work week hours.
He got the first promotion. They interviewed him twice for the second but went with someone who had been there MUCH longer.
This is the new job that he just started a few months ago. He'll get a pay increase and guaranteed 40 hours plus possible over time. He can work around things to make sure either he or I can pick up the children and he'll work fewer weekends.
It’s been made aware to us recently that BM is transporting the children in a car that doesn’t have enough seatbelts for everyone in it. Not only are we being told this but we actually found photo evidence.
Apparently she and a friend pick up their children together so at least 4 or more children are being stuffed into the back seat. BM has a vehicle of her own but we know for a she doesn’t have registration on it and most likely no insurance. We've seen the car and the tempoary tag you get after buying it is long past expired.
One of SO’s sites for his first job is gone now. The company lost the contract. We are hoping to find out if SO got the promotion at his newer job or not but they interviewed him for two different spots (both promotions) and until they decide the second I don’t think he’ll find out about either. I’m hoping that’s a good sign that he will at least get one. Either way it’s a pay raise, better / guaranteed 40 hours a week, and PTO of some sort.
Has anyone had success in changing a vistation / custody order through the court if the other parent doesn’t want to? How did you do it exactly? How long did it take? Did you fail at first and keep trying? If you used a lawyer about how much did it cost and what were the conditions like before the order was changed.