So Proud of Stepson!
My stepson brought home his science test yesterday. I helped him with the study sheet last week and showed him how to do some of the things that he didn't understand. He got a 100% on the test!!! Yeah!! He did it exactly like I showed him. Even though he was a little difficult when I was trying to show him, it all turned out good!!
He asked what he should do with the test and I told him to put it up on the refrig. until Thur. morning(he was very proud to put it there I might add). He asked why until Thur. and I told him because then I would have to send it with him to take to his mom's house so she could see it. He told me that she wouldn't care and that he wanted to keep it here. I told him that no, we had to send it to her. He said he would just tell her he forgot it! I told him that that wouldn't be right. He just kept saying she doesn't care!! I told him that maybe she just doesn't look at it close enough or realize how much work it took to get that good grade. I know she cares but she is just doesn't pay attention to things. I think it's sad that he thinks that she doesn't care. How can she let him go through life thinking that??!!
I wish I could be a fly on the wall at stepson's mom's house when he is there just to see what it is really like there. Not how it looks but the vibes that are given off. Can it really be that bad?
Dawn
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It seems like he knows that
It seems like he knows that biomom doesn’t value education (or hygene either, I’m still stuck on the whole TWO sponges for THREE people thing but that’s another matter all together)….also YOU were the one who helped him earn the grade (don’t you have your BS in a Science field? He may also feel that science in general means more to you then her) so he probably sees it as a reward for all the hard work YOU and HE did and knows his mom has little/nothing to do with it! If he wants to keep it at your house, I’d say go ahead and let him! GREAT JOB!!
Make a GREAT Day!
That is great
Those are the things he will remember as he gets older.That is really a shame that he thinks his mom doesnt care.She probably pays no attention to him or could care less about his schoolwork.As long as you keep helping him he will know that he can come to you about things if the time isnt right for his mom.You are being a good role model for him.
That's too bad he feels that
That's too bad he feels that way Dawn...
Maybe making him show it too her...will just make him feel worse? Especially if she doesn't react "appropriately"...as he expects.
....like she doesn't care all that much.......
When my 11 yr old told me that "daughter was Dad's favorite..." It broke my heart and pissed me off all at the same time.....A parent shouldn't make their child feel that way...They should know better...that's very damaging to them.
(But you know I'm stuck dealing with bio-dad and your stuck dealing with bio-mom.... I think maybe they are realted...lol)
I told X what my son thought and told him to smarten up!!! I was going to give you the same advice....but in her case...I think she will just make it worse for him...and I feel so bad for what she puts him through already........
Getting good marks..excellant!! IT really boosts their self-confidence....I think kids with ADD feel inferior so much of the time. They tend to be ackward, sloppy, forget things, not social butterflies, they tend to be really, really smart but that isn't always reflected in their marks. I love the way my son beams when he works hard and sees the reults!!!!
Congrats to both of you....on all your hard work!!
Dawn
Just my personal opinion.. I would let him decide if he wants to take it to her house.. I think you are an awesome step mom and I think that you are trying to just keep peace by making him take it to her house.. He knows by what he is telling you that "she does not care" so why bother to show her. I think if he wants to keep it on your fridge then you should support his decision. His mom sounds like a loser to say the least.. and to me it sounds like she really has one kid. The little sister..
You make him feel important.. which is so cool. You are showing him love and all the thiings he is lacking from his bio mom..
Let him keep the test at your house. What if she accidently does something to his test (throws it away, or ruins it by using it as a coaster) just examples.. but I think he would be very upset..
what if
you make a copy of the test. He can keep the original on your frig and send the copy to biomom. at least he isnt "keeping things from her" and he will know where the "real" test is. Just a thought.