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Guilt trip....really Dh???

Dawn-Moderator's picture

I have this diamond pendant that is made from a diamond that my mom gave me.  It was given to her by her great aunt.  It was originally in a wedding ring setting.

So this is a family heirloom kind of thing. 

The other day I mentioned that I would be passing this pendant on to my niece in the event of my death. Or I reach the age that I want to start passing things down.  Dh said something to the effect of "so Ss just doesn't exist?"  and "what is Ss going to get?".

I answered with "whatever HIS mother or you give him." 

My niece is my relative by blood.  Why would I want to give Ss a piece of jewlery from someone that he has no relation to and could really care less about? 

The same goes with all of my ancestry research.  It will be given to my niece or nephew.  It is not Ss's family. No matter how you slice it.

I don't want to make anyone feel bad but it just makes sense this way to me.


Aniki-Moderator's picture

Dawn, would you like me to give your DH a boot in the rear to disloge his head?

I have no bios and am willing my jewelry to my nieces. My DH knows this. Not once has he asked me what I'm leaving the skids (nothing). Sheesh.

SteppedOut's picture

Omg. Is SS going to wear the women's neckalace? That is something to be passed down to FEMALE (blood) relatives. Sheesh.

ndc's picture

Seriously?  He asked what SS was going to get?  Entitled much?  And when your DH said "So SS doesn't exist," did you want to ask him if he could make it so?

Perhaps it is lost on him that your mother was the NIECE of the aunt who originally had the diamond.  Seems fitting that it would go to your niece.  You know, your relative by blood.

CLove's picture

And I need to really consider. I flip flop all the time. I lvoe Munchkin SD12, but she is not my child. I have zero relationship with my one and only niece, who isnt even 1 yet. I am not close to my brother and sister in law.

So who should get my stuff that belongs to my mom in the event of our passings? Ill have to talk with my mom (or not, she doesnt like discussing things).

But SS? Puh leeze. Firstly hes a dude. Secondly hes not your child.

twopines's picture

SS has already received more than one of your phones. They were worth $$. I'd say your days of passing things on to him have been fulfilled.

Dawn-Moderator's picture

I am always against Ss.  Which is not true.

Am I not the one who gave Ss my iphone 7 when I got a new phone? I didn't offer the phone to my niece.

Dh needs to get that chip off of his shoulder!

SteppedOut's picture

That chip is rediculous and far to prevalent in step-life imo. If you aren't sickening syrupy over the top sweet and over accomodating... "you hate my kid". 


Exjuliemccoy's picture

Wow, what gall and how inappropriate to boot.

These daddees just assume that aalll good things simply must flow to their loin fruit - whether they deserve it or not.

Back in the day, my DH and his father just assumed that my classic car (first car I ever bought, a muscle car that I kept stored) would become a daily driver for one of the skids. I overheard them discussing it one day, even though DH had never even broached the subject with me. Yeah right, perfect car for an unworthy hood rat to wrap around a pole.

I quietly arranged the sale of the car.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Well everyone knows that entitled SSs just LOVE wearing woman's necklaces! Don't they???

Good for you for standing up there dawn!!! Your neice will understand the value WAY more!

ITB2012's picture

That was pretty forward of your DH to ask. Unless you raise SS from babyhood with no BM in the mix and you were basically his mom, then maybe. BUT...I have heirloom jewelry handed down generations. Most of it is not even going to my son, it's going to my brother's daughters as I have no daughters. My son is getting a select few pieces that may mean something to him to pass down to any daughter he may have in the future. I have known the skids about eight years and I did not flag anything to go to them. DH knows how much I cherish my family jewelry and trinkets, I am hoping he knew better than to ask.

TwoOfUs's picture

lol. Your husband is funny. 

My skids won't be getting anything of mine. Will be giving all to my niece and nephews and little sisters as well. I gave them enough of my blood, sweat, tears, and $$$ while I was alive and in my prime earning years. I have my youngest sister as beneficiary on all my accounts. 

SacrificialLamb's picture

My comment would have been "oh I'm sorry DH, I didn't realize SS liked women's jewelry. "

I guess we have it easier because DH and I both have children. I have family heirlooms and so does he. If he passes first, there are a few pieces of furniture they can have (but I don't think they want).  I predict that is the time they would scream about daddy's will and why do they have to wait until I am dead to get it.


Letti.R's picture

Family heirlooms go to people who will appreciate it, usually family.
What does your husband not understand, except that his son is entitled?

There is nothing wrong with how you feel.
It shows you appreciate the pendant and are handing it on in the spirit you received it.