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Update on Rape story

Daisymazy2's picture

I posted a blog on Saturday about SD, age 17, calling Rape.  Dh took time off work Saturday to take her to the ER and she refused the rape test  (collecting dna evidence) and refused to file charges.

Dh took off Monday to deal "emotionally" with this rape.  He gets a message from BM's daughter on Monday morning telling him that the boy, age 17, is back at BM's house and BM isn't there.  DH rushes to BM's house.  The boy was walking home and they were able to stop him.  The police were called but the boy wasn't arrested.   They were there until about 8 PM.  

SD told Dh.  That she  invited the boy over again on Sunday night  (so called Rape, happened Friday night/early Saturday Morning).  SD told DH that the boy choked her again and that they had sex again. She says she is in love with the boy.  She painted a really good picture for DH.  DH convinced her to file charges and have the rape test done.

As expected, there is a HUGE twist to this story. 

 After work,  I decided to look at the message that BM's daughter sent to DH. It was sent on a social media app to DH.  She sent DH a video that shows SD in a tee shirt and underwear and the boy doesn't have on a shirt.  They are in SD's room.  SD is laughing and talking to the boy.  It is very clear that the SD isn't scared like she told DH earlier.  

When DH gets back home, I show him the video and asked if he seen it BEFORE  he rushed out the door to "save" SD.  He said he didn't see it.   DH had scheduled a meeting today to take time off work again so that SD can talk to the detective.   He is still going to take SD to file charges.  He is a little scared now because SD did invite the boy back over after the so called rape and the video clearly shows that SD isn't scared of this boy.

The police took the boy's phone.  After they spoke to the boy, they came to BM's house and took SD's computer.  

I know, if she said NO, it is rape but if he "raped" her the first time,  why invite him back over a couple of days later.

In my opinion,  I think that SD invited the boy over for sex, he was choking her during sex.  SD tried the choking and didn't like it.  It scared her and she called rape.  She invited the boy back over again and  tried choking during sex again.    

I just really do not see this boy getting any charges filed against him.  

 

I

Comments

thinkthrice's picture

file charges against SD for false rape claims.

Daisymazy2's picture

I am not sure when she saw him posting online.  DH mentioned it while she was at the ER but never said she saw his post before or after she said it was rape.  

Letti.R's picture

Rape is not some game.
Your SD is really twisted: if she was raped, she should press charges, if she wasn't, she should be prosecuted for wasting police time or filing a false report - if this is what happened.

Your DH should see the parents of the boy: do they know he is accused (maybe falsely) of rape?
What if their son is a rapist?
This is all just sick and twisted and your SD needs serious psychological help.

I understand that people are traumatised by rape, but refusing to report for whatever reason, lets a rapist get away with it and endangers further possible victims.
 

Daisymazy2's picture

lives with his grandmother.  She was called when he was questioned by the police.  When he was questioned by police, DH and SD were told to leave.  The police took the boys phone.  After talking to the boy, the police retrieved SD's computer. 

If it was like the last time she said she was raped, she invited the boy over for sex.  I know, if she says NO, it is still rape but why keep inviting boys over to your house for sex.  It is very clear in her messages that she wants sex.  

SD has been in counseling since she was 7 years old.  She has psychiatrist as well as a counselor.  I am not sure how much more anyone can do for her except to show her there are huge consequences if she is lying.

 

WalkOnBy's picture

"If it was like the last time she said she was raped, she invited the boy over for sex"

She has accused before??

tog redux's picture

After BM here had an affair and DH found out, she suddenly reported being "raped" by someone posing as a police officer. She wouldn't file charges, wouldn't do the rape kit, etc, didn't want to pursue it.  All of the sudden, she was again the victim and DH was focused on helping her rather than being angry about her affair.

He believed that story until about 5 years ago. The minute I heard it, I knew it was BS and that she'd done it for sympathy. One of SS's therapists also thought it was BS.  DH was shocked, it had never occurred to him that she would lie about such a thing. Now he believes fully that she lied about it, AND, during the custody battle, she told the court, and SS, that DH had "hired someone" to rape her.  IMO, BM is NPD/BPD.

The focus on women being sexually assaulted and harassed is important, but it doesn't mean that every allegation of rape is true.  There always have been and always will be women who falsely accuse men of rape. Yes, it's a small percentage of women who allege rape and sexual assault, but it exists.

I hope this gets sorted out in a way that allows SD to be held accountable if she is lying.

hereiam's picture

Yep.

BM's MO is to seduce men, then claim rape when she doesn't get her way and they won't do her bidding. Sick.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

So wait... She had an affair... Then lied about it to your DH who gave the sympathy card... And then started saying he hired someone to do it???

What is wrong with her?!

tog redux's picture

Yep. Totally took the focus off of her affair and onto supporting the poor victim.  The "he hired someone to rape me" came during the custody battle.  Again, anything to be the victim.

I believe she has a Borderline/Narcissistic personality disorder Hybrid From Hell.

Letti.R's picture

OMW!!
The things I learn here, I cannot even dream up!

Your BM is pretty sick - as is the history with your skid - to the point I cannot understand how you have managed to say so normal and sane...

A fake rape allegation after an affair and then blaming DH for hiring someone to rape her?
Man, that is effed up, and I thought I came into contact with some twisted people through work.

tog redux's picture

I stayed normal and sane because DH is normal and sane, and BM never targeted me.

Hell hath no fury like a Borderline scorned!

lieutenant_dad's picture

I'd make sure the detective has a copy of that tape. Kid doesn't deserve to have his future potentially ruined over a lie (if it's a lie).

Daisymazy2's picture

they have a copy of the tape.  BM's BD sent SD as well as DH the tape.  I am almost certain today that SD may have to turn her phone into the police as well.  I am waiting from an update from DH to see if they are going to be able to file any charges at all.

I am very certain that they will not charge the boy at all.  If they do, a defense attorney could rip SD apart.  

I am sure there is some very interesting things on her computer.  You would think after having it confiscated by the police on numerous times, She would not have anything on your computer that could incriminate herself.

 

ESMOD's picture

Here's my guess.

SD likes this boy.  SD entices him over with whatever "promises" she thinks will get him there.  She flirts and likes the attention.. but actually isn't interested in "doing it".. But, the boy feels he was invited over for THAT.. so he won't take "no" for an answer.  She talked the part.. she acted the part.. she dressed the part.. but all of it was to get his attention.. at the bottom of it "doing it" wasn't her goal.. his attention was.. and she was doing whatever she could to get it.

The fact that he bragged about his conquest.. and probably didn't act "boyfriendish" to her.. well.. that gave her a good excuse to make an accusation.

Now.. this accusation wasn't meant for the police.. remember she didn't want the kit.. didn't want the police.  That was pushed on her.  She just wanted to save face and be excused from her ill advised behavior... but she still pined after this guy.

Jcksjj's picture

Even if this was the case (which some of it seems like a little bit of a stretch) it's disgusting. Have you ever read the comments on a newspaper story where someone accused of rape? Doesnt matter if they havent actually been convicted yet, most of the comments are saying they accused needs to be shot, hung etc. These kinds of accusations ruin people's lives.

And then theres the factor of how people who claim they were victims for attention affect ACTUAL victims. If this girl seriously made it up for any reason shes extremely selfish and deserves to be punished herself.

beebeel's picture

I just need to say a few things.

1. Anyone can change their mind at any time during any sexual encounter and say, "No." 

2. Girls who have been sexually abused by family members or trusted authority figures sometimes accuse others of the abuse because of trauma.

Is this girl in therapy? Someone has does something to her to inflict this level of damage. Healthy, untraumatized girls/women do not cry rape. She needs serious help and much more supervision than her parents are giving her.

thinkthrice's picture

for the county told me that if he had to estimate,  about 80% of rape claims are false.

1.  they use it as an excuse so that their BF/SO/DH doesn't get angry at their affair

2.  they have "buyer's remorse" after the consensual deed

tog redux's picture

Seriously, 80%?!  Beliefs like that are why men don't get consequences for sexual assault.

I think the real estimate is less than 10% of allegations are false.

Letti.R's picture

I live in a huge metropolitan city and we dont even hit 10% on false reporting - these are actual investigations, whether the  the claim was retracted or not.
Nevermind that rape or sexual assault is usually under reported. 

thinkthrice's picture

but his record shows differently.  Mostly juvenile cases...the same lot that we deal with on this forum.  Attention seeking SDs who will lie through their teeth about everything, starting out with "did you brush your teeth?" then "did you make good grades?"  "Are you sneaking out of your room at night?"   Culminating in false accusations to police, CPS, you name it.  Maybe those figures were high but today's young people have not been parented let alone taught decency, morality, etc.  

 

beebeel's picture

Oh yes, because it's such an easy leap from lying about brushing your teeth to lying about being raped. 

Most rapes involving minors go unreported because of this kind of effed up mentality. Why even report it when:

1. You won't be believed because you have some fatass, misogynistic "investigator" who makes shit up in his head, including his own false statistics.

2. The chances of your rapist ever seeing time in jail are right around the same percentage of false accusations (5 to 10 percent). 

elkclan's picture

absolutely true this above - false rape allegations, while serious - are dwarfed by real rapes that never get reported or do and never go anywhere. 

Anyone in authority who says 80% false accusations is dangerous to public safety. 

And anyone who believes that no doesnt mean no or doesn't mean no 'authentically'. Well - just SHAME on you. 

My stepson - then 12 - was accused by a girl at school and he's still a bit shaken by it (and yes, it was absolutely false, it was patently false and never even went to police level), so it's not like I believe these things never happen. 

I have also met people who have been date raped and went out with their rapist again. It was a way of denying what happened to them and trying to take back control. It's messed up, but humans are messed up. 

Obviously OP's SD is one messed up kid. But it doesn't mean she wasn't raped and it certainly doesn't mean she doesn't need serious help in relationships, boundaries and risky behaviours. 

tog redux's picture

It is entirely possible he's biased towards seeing accusations as false, you know. Many men in power are, unfortunately.

Letti.R's picture

Wowzer, I wonder if he has any actual stats to back up his story?

I have a tangential connection to investigations and prosecutions -  and false allegations are usually around the 5-8% mark in terms of rape reporting depending on the year.
It is usually on the lower end and probably statistically higher than it should be because the under reporting of rape / sexual assault is completely unknown.

Simpleton21's picture

Unfortunately I have a feeling this will be my SD in a few years.  She is currently faking taking her meds to stay sick and BM is a nutcase too.  I'm over the constant drama that they put us through.

I feel for you.  I hope that if she was really raped she will get the help she needs.  I'm guessing based on the info this is a boy that cries wolf type of situation.  My SD does this a lot.  Gets caught doing something she shouldn't so she throws someone else under the bus to take attention off herself and become the innocent victim.  I won't leave her alone with my son for this very reason.  She doesn't care about ruining other lives just getting what she wants...attention and sympathy.

Daisymazy2's picture

I was in another relationship prior to DH.  At that time the guy I was dating had 2 girls.  Both were little drama queens but the youngest was horrible.   When we were together he just had her every other weekend. I walked on eggshells and kept my kids away from her.   I left that relationship after he was awarded full custody of her.  Her BM just dropped her off at his house and told him that she was all his. I just could not see myself having to deal with her on a full time basis.  She accussed people of rape, child abuse,  used drugs and alcohol.  After he dad was awarded custody, she was put in a group home.  He couldn't control her either.  She is now an adult he keeps her husband in line by telling him she is going to have him arrested for spousal abuse.   

I met DH and at first he seemed to be in control of SD. After we married, I started seeing the same things in SD that I saw in the previous kid. I was hoping that I was wrong but SD is exactly the same.

advice.only2's picture

See this is the problem with false rape claims, it negates and defeats the actual victims of rape, your SD should be brought up on charges of defamation of character and should be forced to serve community service working with victims of actual rape.

Meth Mouth is the same way, she got caught having an affair and cried rape, then she claimed her second ex raped her, then her dealer, then she was gang raped, it was disgusting to hear Spawn talk about her poor mother and how she was always a victim.

SteppedOut's picture

Does anyone else think it is "different" that SD is having her dad rush to "save her", go to police, etc and not having her mom do all of this? I mean, she told her dad before mom, right? And she ws at mom's house...and mom was there...but she told dad first? 

Is she trying to get attention from dad?

Simpleton21's picture

I think you have a good theory there SteppedOut.  My SD is constantly attention seeking and telling my DH one thing and her BM another and is always for attention.