Thinking about disappearing...
Last night was a rough one... My future MIL and I got into a pretty heated argument. For almost two years now, my DBF's family had made it clear that they do not see me or my DD13 as family, which is fine, but how they would go about it, not inviting us to the family birthday parties, only calling to take SD12 which again, fine, DD isn't their family... It's honestly just the way they go about it. That make it really really obvious that even if me and DBF got married or had children together, that me and DD would never be a part of their family... I did something that I usually make fun of others about, I aired my dirty laundry on facebook.... well, kind of. I made a comment about being sick and tired of being excluded and my daughter being excluded and the poor treatment that came with it, but I didn't say names, but they all knew... I just blew up. I usually just bite my tongue and take it, but I just couldn't control my anger at that point. So, two days later I text future MIL and apologize profusely to her, and explained to her the reasoning behind my actions, even if posting it on facebook was wrong, I still expressed how her and the SIL's bad behavior was no longer going to be accepted. I would type everyting out on here, but it's just too much, so please don't be quick to judge because there's a lot of sh!t that they put us through to make us feel not accepted or welcome. I have done so much for my SD and have put up with a lot of crap from her, but still treated her well, made sure that everything I did was in her best interest, made she she was fed, clothed, felt loved, and she continued to sh!t on me, but I still took care of her and the in laws all know that, but still... My DD and I get treated like we are just garbage.
DBF wants to have a big sit down with them, and their actions will decide if we are eloping or having a wedding here for everyone to attend. At this point, I just want to elope and not have them around anymore... DBF is at his witts end with just the females on his mom's side of the family. They do this to every gf that DBF has had in his life, and I just don't understand it? MIL even had a blended family and was a stepparent to others and she expected those kids to be included not excluded, so why is she acting this way? Why are my SIL's acting this way... they all grew up or are raising a blended family... So what's the problem here? I am usually pretty laid back, respectful, caring, loving, kind, and would give my shirt off my back to someone. They have also befriended BM so that they can take my SD whenever they want. even if SD is grounded.... They have always hated BM but now they are being all buddy buddy with her because BM has no rules for SD to follow besides SD being on a diet even though she is 60 pounds soak and wet.
My eyes hurt, I am weepy, depressed, angry, hurt... all the emotions wrapped up in one... I am to the point where I just want to disappear for a while and just having really bad thoughts about myself. No worries, I wouldn't end my life over something as foolish as what's going on, but I am just feeling really defeated right now and just needed to vent.