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The Instigators!

b1tchplease's picture

The one thing that bothers me with issues that go on with BM is the fact that my DBF's family has involved themselves in the drama to say the least. Here's a glossary of people involved:

Nutty McDougal - BM
Jezebel - DBF's 3rd cousin, best friend with Nutty McD. & sleeps with married men!
Bowl Cut - Jezebel's loud obnoxious mother, DBF's 2nd cousin
Dry Curl - Bowl Cut's bother/Jezebel's uncle who I think does the *wink wink* with Nutty McDougal
Dazed - Bowl Cut's younger sister/Jezebel's aunt & Nutty McDougal's former college advisor.

With these names in place, I can explain my story and why the hell these people bother me so.

DBF and I have been together for a little over 2 years. Nutty McDougal was someone he knocked up while having drunk sex (he thought he put a rubber on, but didn't) and Nutty McDougal had been a friend of the family for years, so I guess she thought because they had sex, she was a shoo in for the position of WIFE.

Here we are 2 years and some odd months later and she and this branch of his family have it out for me and him. We both come under attack at different times and for different reasons, but my whole point is: WHAT FUCKIN' BUSINESS IS IT OF YOURS ANYWAY?!

For starters, DBF and I were dating when Nutty McDougal said she was pregnant. We moved in together after 6 months of dating. He's told her over and over again, it was her choice to keep the baby and he would support HIS SON, not her!

Now, Jezebel, Bowl Cut, and Dry Curl all believe, because of what she has told him, that I'M the reason they are not together. No one has ever asked my DBF, they just all assumed that it has to be me. I'm sorry, people, DBF was given a choice. I told him that if he wanted to be with her, he could. I was not holding him hostage. He chose to stay with me.

During this time period, these people have ADVISED Nutty McDougal not to allow him visitation, go to court for CS when she was already getting an ample amount every month and to basically make his life a living hell. Nutty McDougal has been stupid enough to repeat that is stuff to DBF and we just can't understand why grown people act this way.

They call her and tell her if we're doing renovations to OUR house, when we got a new car, what I wore to a family function. Jewelry that he has gotten me for special occasions have been photographed without my knowledge and emailed to her by these people.

When my son was born, I refused to have any of them come to the baby shower. We decided as a couple that they were only going to come to cause drama. They weren't invited to the baptism either, but Bowl Cut made her presence known and I didn't want her there, but it's church. Nutty McDougal couldn't wait to get on the phone with DBF after this function.

Every move we make is monitored and dissected for her. It's not like we're trying to be sneaky, we're just trying to live. The only one in all of this who seems to have some sense is Dazed, but who knows if she can really be trusted since she's the one who has the most contact with Nutty McDougal anyway. It's just a mess.

This past weekend, since we have SS, Nutty McDougal called 10 times to ask DBF if he would drop SS off to spend time with the Instigators. Every time he said no, he doesn't fool with fake people, so why should he take his son over there? I have actually taken MY son away from Bowl Cut at several family functions when she's been told to her face not to touch my child. These people took pics of MY son at the family reunion and sent them to her so that she had comments about my son's Ralph Lauren Polo Shirt or his expensive Nike shoes. I work hard so my son can have and she's calling because HER son doesn't have. Get a job bitch and stop having kids by men that don't want you.

Jezebel got cursed out by me in July for talking about me behind my back, but I could clearly see it on Facebook. I called her out on it and she tried to say she was gonna call the cops for harrassment. Bitch, your whole family harrasses my boyfriend over some nutty, lazy bitch that you all think he should have married because he had sex with her. I bet your mother would be real proud to know that you fuck around with married men!!! Oh the things I could say at family functions and don't!!!

I have taken the high road, but it's getting hard with the Holidays rolling around now and I have to deal with these people who are just soooo fake and phony! I have a hard time keep my mouth closed so it should be interesting. Brutally honest with no apologies. If I don't like you, you'll know it!


Mommywood's picture

eww i thought i had it bad with the family dynamics and everyone knowing I "stole" my DH from BM at a family function when EVERYONE was there...

I met DH through my Best friend at her uncle's bday party. He was there with now BM and SS when SS was just a baby. halfway through the party, she just straight up stormed off and left now DH alone with no wallet and no keys, and the whole family went off on how he needed to leave her cause she was such a bitch.

I was there as an outsider so i just heard everything they were saying. He kept looking at me all night but I knew his situation and i shrugged him off.

I met him again at a wedding for his sis, and again he kept eyeing me, but he was with "Jabba"-- thats BM cause shes a blob of fat and craters... and so i paid no attention to him again.

... anyway... long story short, he leaves BM to be with me, and I thought his family would have a shit fit with it, since I destroyed the "family."

I got grief for a bit, and was even ashamed to show up at family functions. Then slowly but surely they started to see how i made him a better person (he started to go back to school cause of me, and has a better job now.).

For some reason my ex friend, the friend that I met him through, hates me. She went on a rant telling people all these things about me in the family (i.e. the baby i was carrying was probably not even his, he should get dna tests, i was talking to other guys when I was with him, etc.) She also went as far as to tell me that he would leave me and go back to BM so not to get too attached... none of which was true.

To this day, i know she talks shit about me to everyone, and the funny part is everyone sees shes the the bitter one (i guess cause she started seeing that I was going to be happy and no longer her "party buddy" she wanted to break us up.)

ok i ranted.... dont know what that was all about. i meant to comment for you... thought maybe something would help??

Ok yes, my point....
I have let this girl rant and rave about me and DH to the family all she wanted. I never opened my mouth and kept the high road. I actually spoke to DH's grandma the other day (DH and ex best friends grandma-- Theyre cousins) and she started asking about my ex friend. I kind of told her the problems without really saying what happened, and you know what she said. "She needs to grow up." she said she sees how happy DH and I are, and all this BS drama makes her look like the one with nothing better to do. This coming from HER gradma.

I forgot to add in, she went on a rant about me on facebook saying how unappreciative and how much of a loser i am... and i dont know what else cause i didnt care to read it and just get so mad id actually respond... so I let it go. THAT PISSED HER OFF MORE!!!
and it made her angry cause she had no fuel for her fire. she has ceased from saying things about me for a while now. and last week I hear (from a mutual friend) that she has been wanting to apologize to me for all the things she said to me.... I was in shock! Shes not the type to give into anyone.

Granted i have yet to recieve that apology, but I never thought me ignoring her would work in my favor.
I dont know if it will for sure work for you, but hey, when you give them nothing to talk about, they will have nothing to say!
Hope SOME of this rant helped?

imagr8tma's picture

Wow - drama drama drama...... I wonder myself why some people have so much time on their hands to create so much drama in other people's lives.

DH and I experience similar drama here as well. BM and BM's mom can't stand me - simply because i married my DH. They don't like DH because he did not marry her years ago (7 years ago to be exact).....

But none-the-less - they have spread all kinds of lies and rumors about us in NC and it is just crazy.

The latest is the ones they spread at the christian school where my SD attends - BM and DH were supposedly married - and I broke the marriage up - and that is why she had to go to court for custody in September.

I had to laugh about that one - the office worker at the school had to tell us that one - while they were complimenting him on how he was still so cordial about the divoce.

It was funny to me... I didn't know my DH 7 years ago. Have only know him 3 years dated him 2.5 and been married 1 year of that time. It is amazing the lengths and lows she will go to just to have something to talk about.

Dang - they all need to get a life and some business.

********She doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM!************

LizzieA's picture

I've gone through something so similar, especially to mommywood! I met DH at his sister's house. Same thing, she totally turned against us once we got happy. She also worked hard to turn his other sisters, extended family and even DH's good friends against us. She tried to paint the picture that DH was going down the tubes, helped by me! Ha ha ha ha! Most of them see the truth now, after two years!

I did speak up to two sisters and of course was royally trashed for doing so. But I don't care. I have a right to say what I think about things that impact MY husband, ME and MY life. The old "blood is thicker than marriage" tribe thinks "outsiders" should just shut up and sit still for the punishment. NOT!

b1tchplease's picture

I have a great support system with his immediate family: his grandma, mom, brother, sister and 2 aunts who adore me. They all agree that I should just ignore them and I have, but when is enough enough.

I have blatantly told these people to leave us alone and the reasons why, but they think they're doing nothing wrong. DBF and I are a lot closer and stronger because of all of this. It's an US against the world type thing and Nutty McDougal can't stand it. She's lied about me to them and they believe her. I just can't believe that grown people wouldn't have the common decency to ASK me and DBF what's really going on, especially since he is their family, NOT HER!

It just makes me sick, but I intend to go to EVERY family function and live my life. Thanks, ladies, for sharing so I don't feel so alone in all this.

No one can make you feel inferior with your consent - Eleanor Roosevelt