You are here

I feel sooooo guilty

b1tchplease's picture

After 8 months of being unable to see SS20 months, Nutty McDougal finally relented and let him come to stay with the main reason being that she just had another baby and can't handle them both. DBF and I have an 8 month old little boy, so it's not like we get full night's of rest either. Anywho, SS20 months has been with us for 3 days now and all he does is CRY! I can't take it. I don't want to go home from work or stay there. My DBF had him in bed with us last night and he howled from 10:30 until midnight. Instead of DBF taking into another room, he allowed him to wake up me and the baby up. I have to be to work at 7 AM so I don't have the luxury of sleeping in or calling off because I work in a hospital. DBF really pissed me off.

I feel guilty because I can't fathom going home to listen to him crying all night, whining and simpering. I know it's what kids do SOMETIMES, but all day??? I know that he hasn't seen his dad in 8 mos., but the first night he was fine. The second day the whining starting and then yesterday the HOWLING! :? I tried to comfort him and hold him, he just wants to be left alone. DBF has tried to make me give him a bath and put him to bed, but when he's screaming, I just let him go because I don't know what he wants and obviously it's probably his crazy mom, but I don't think that we'll be inviting her over anytime soon. I just want to pack my kid up and say see you when he leaves to DBF. I feel sooo terribly guilty and angry. Sad


misfit's picture


HOly crap, lady. You're dealing with a LOT of kid issues right now. I don't have any myself but I can't even deal with my BF's 4 y/o sometimes and he's pretty much a good kid.

I think you have every right to feel angry and maybe even a little used. From what you say, it doesn't seem like your BF sees you struggling. If he "makes" you give the kid a bath, put him to bed...that sounds like something he should be handling. And who in their right mind (I'm talking BM right now) sends her 2 year old away for days after not seeing the dad for 8 months. She's basically just dumping the kid on you because she needs to focus on the newborn.

I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this. Have you tried to let your BF know that you're overwhelmed and simply clueless about how to handle his child? It sounds like he doesn't know how to either and he's relying on your help. Maybe you can come up with a team plan where both you and your BF can handle this visit better.

All I can say is good luck and I'm sending you good vibes!!

If you wish to give off light, you must endure the burning.

GiGi222's picture

Its hard taking care of a child that small because you don't know their habits and what sound means what. So you spend alot of time guessing, causing each of you to get fustrated.
That sux! How long is he planning on keeping SS? I hope things get better.

Squillion's picture

Woah. You have an 8 month old and your boyfriend has a 20 MONTH old? And this BM has another baby? Already?

Wow. No offense, but this whole family sounds like you guys are in some kind of breeding competition.

Sorry you're not getting any sleep. That's kinda what babies do. It's their schtick. Cry poop eat, rinse and repeat.

Your boyfriend should really be in another room with his kid to avoid waking you and the baby.

Is your boyfriend taking custody of him? Does he not have a room at the house?

b1tchplease's picture

Squillion -

Just so you understand the logistics. In May of 2007, BF was hooking up with Nutty McDougal & drunkenly, thought he put a rubber on, but can't be too sure. He cut her off in June said that she wasn't GF material and he wanted to be with someone who was. Needless to say, he met me a month later. At this point, she called and said she was pregnant. For 40 weeks, he told her he wanted a DNA test, she had one and the kid was his. All that time, she thought that if the kid was his, he would leave me and go back to her, which didn't happen.

For 20 months now, she's been acting a fool because I 'stole her chance at a happy family'! (Recently (this past Tuesday), she officially apologized for her 'behavior', but that's another post!) She recently (I think September 2nd or 3rd, had another baby with her neighbor's BF! I know. Sad!

BF and I didn't plan on having a baby, but I got sick and went on anti-biotics in May of 2008. My BC didn't work people and I got pregnant. In my defense, I was passed out when he came home from a night out with the fellas and almost cured of my sinus infection. So, there is no breeding competition from my standpoint. She can keep on having babies to pay her bills because she doesn't work, but lives off of CS and public assistance.

No one can make you feel inferior with your consent - Eleanor Roosevelt

stepmom2one's picture

He is transitioning. He will get over it, I think. I would suggest BD or you sleep with him in his bed. I bet he will get over this very soon, he is so young. I am sure this whole thing is very hard on him.

b1tchplease's picture

SS is doing a lot better, but he still cries when his dad leaves the room. I think that I may take him to the store with just me tomorrow so that we can have OUR own time. It's very hard on him and I realize that, but with all the frustration of having to deal with his crazy, psycho mother every 5 minutes of the day on the phone, an 8 month old little monkey who likes to swing from anything he can hang from and working full time is just taking it's toll. Thanks for all your advice. I really appreciate it. BTW, SS will be with us until next Friday/Saturday, depending when the evil Nutty McDougal would like him back.

No one can make you feel inferior with your consent - Eleanor Roosevelt